Blog post: Kin's story is kind of true

[borborygmus]

This is exactly what I regard as the definitionally-correct attitude for anyone who couldn't prevent themselves from being victimized in the first place. The world preys on weakness, so the best way to protect yourself is simply to become invincible. And the first step to being impregnable to all harm is to never show any vulnerability. Fake it until you make it, as they say in the world of business. Whatever failings you have, will yourself to have the sheer power to push through them, never admit that you're defeated, and even on the day you die, you'll be immortal. The people who can achieve that are the ones who will go down in history, and I'm not the least surprised to find out that our dear author is the spawn of such superior stock.

'Fake it until you make it' and 'never show any vulnerability' is fine advice for some people. But let's not pretend that it's the best option for everyone. For some people, letting their heart show on their sleeve and receiving support from the others around them is an extremely important part of the healing process. Hiding everything away inside and pretending nothing is ever wrong can lead to serious depression.

On top of that, I don't much care for the suggestion that people who ARE able to conceal everything are 'superior stock' - suggesting that they are somehow 'better' than other victims?

There seem to be two extremes of attitude when dealing with this subject. One is the (false) suggestion that rape is A Fate Worse Than Death, that all victims must (or worse yet, SHOULD or else they're not 'really' victimized) be broken forever. And this is bullshit. Some people ARE so badly traumatized that they never fully recover, it's definitely not something that happens across the board, and it absolutely disgusts me whenever anyone says the phrase 'fate worse than death.' Telling victims that they would be better off dead is a shit thing to do. I'm really glad that Thunt isn't going this route, and that we're seeing Kin start to heal instead.

But the other is that victims should just get over it. This might not be what willpell intended to imply at all, and I apologize if I've misread your intentions, but what I read into it just bothered me and I had to post something.

I personally like how Thunt is handling Kin's story. I think there are a LOT of things to consider as part of the situation, especially the fact that the things she's been through with Minmax have very likely pushed them closer together more quickly. Her intelligence and proven ability to think with detached logic are likewise figuring into it I think.

[willpell]

On top of that, I don't much care for the suggestion that people who ARE able to conceal everything are 'superior stock' - suggesting that they are somehow 'better' than other victims?

I never said that they would "conceal" their trauma - I said that they would not succumb to any. Look, when you're running along the sidewalk and you trip and fall and skin your knee, you could sit there and cry, or you could shake it off, get back up as soon as you're physically able to, and continue about your day, perhaps walking a little more slowly or limping to favor the uninjured leg, but only if those things are actually necessary. The severity of the harm may be vastly greater in the case of assault, nevermind rape, but the principle is the same. You can either allow yourself to self-inflict psychological harm above and beyond the physical damage you've suffered, or you can have the sheer willpower to push all such secondary harm out of your mind and power through your life undaunted. And a person who both chooses to try doing that AND is able to succeed in doing it? Yes, dammit, they are superior. Trying to punish them for that is Harrison Bergeron and Tall Poppy Syndrome. There's nothing "wrong" with being weak, but being strong IS better.

But the other is that victims should just get over it. This might not be what willpell intended to imply at all, and I apologize if I've misread your intentions

No, that's pretty much where I was going with it. Yes, not everyone can manage that, and no, they shouldn't be punished or shamed for their failure. But something our (America's) society doesn't seem to understand these days...there's a difference between earning a punishment and not earning a reward. Being praised for how well you've weathered your trauma is a reward, because you're awesome enough to survive something that would break "lesser" persons. But that "lesser" isn't a perjorative; it just means that you're part of the "crowd", and the praiseworthy person has "stood out from the crowd". You shouldn't feel bad about that...but you definitely shouldn't try to punish that person for being praiseworthy, or others for praising them, just because you feel left out. That kind of sour grapes is completely unacceptible and childish behavior.

If you *do* feel left out or otherwise bad about the fact that others have been more successful than you, you should recognize that this feeling comes from within yourself, and is nobody's problem but yours. Envy is considered a Deadly Sin in Christianity (disclaimer: I am not Christian), and for good reason; it's a cancer that eats away at you and drives you to spite others. Of course, Pride is also on the Sins list, but that's mostly a linguistic gaffe; that particular Sin was originally considered Vanity or Vainglory, which was about falsely glorifying yourself for accomplishments that weren't really all that impressive. Justified pride in your own accomplishments is much of the reason to ever accomplish anything in the first place, so it should not be sullied by others who can't stand to be left out.

[Soyeong]

I understand why people might be upset about how quickly Kin is healing emotionally. But another thing to think about is, if the device can repair not just physical damage, but also mental damage i.e. forgotten memories, is it not then also possible that all those emotional scars caused by the horrific event also become healed. Just a thought, I mean this is a fantasy setting, where magic can do things that otherwise cannot happen in a modern real-life setting.

And also, what everyone who look at this and says.. "nah, it can't be happening like this, too "unrealistic" needs to remember Kin is NOT human. Her outlook is not human, her thought patterns are not human and thus how she deals with her trauma will not be the same as how a human would deal with that trauma at all.

So, yes, it is based on an actual happening. And yes, how Kin is dealing is largely because that's the way it really happened. But it can also be seen as a textbook case of how non-human intelligence works as well.

Of course, I could be totally wrong....

I'm not sure that her being not human is a significant factor because her quick recovery appears to be abnormal for her species as well. "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." Someone who is raped has every right to hold a grudge, but it takes a certain type of person to be able to let go of that hatred.

[jakesdad]

She may also emotionally consider Delynn as a being sufficiently different than MinMax. A half wood, half studded-leather armored human male could produce as distinct of a reaction as a dwarven male, half-elf male, or bald human barbarian male.

Was there a specific half-elf male that I missed? Or did you just throw that in as an example?

No character in the comic. I chose a half-elf because it could logically be pointed out "he's half human."

[Unlucky-for-Some]

I'm not sure that her being not human is a significant factor because her quick recovery appears to be abnormal for her species as well. "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." Someone who is raped has every right to hold a grudge, but it takes a certain type of person to be able to let go of that hatred.

That's an interesting idea. I wonder if our Kin is actually exceptional among the Kins in the MoM? We've seen stupid Kin and smart MinMax ... I wonder if she is smarter than the average Kin? Or perhaps has a higher Wisdom score, giving her a bit more mental fortitude. If her seeming recovery was simply due to her INT score then you might expect many of the Kins to have had the same "something must change so I'll make it me" moment that to my mind signaled the start of her recovery. Granted the actions of MinMax and Forgath probably have helped her in ways that other Kins might not have experienced, but it seems that the core of her position and potential recovery comes from within and so I am left wondering if she is something special in Kin-dom.

[Redten]

Man, I have a personal rule to not discuss religion, politics, and rape on the internet.

I'm going to break it for this because I really, really like Goblins.

I'm going to start with this: Many creative works (especially those that require writing and art) can be polished. There are a plethora of writers who publish content because it's a publishing deadline, not because they're 100% satisfied with their work. Thunts mother is incredibly admirable, and I see no issue with Thunt incorporating her story into his work. However, I don't doubt that he doesn't have some desire to handle Kins recovery better. So yes, it's completely true to say that Kins recovery speed from 2 years of hell is abnormally out of touch from the usual reality.

I can see how this could seriously wound someone who has been sexually assaulted. Many stories and characters are appealing because there are personalities and characteristics that readers can identify with. To share such a horrible event with a fictional character, and then see her walk it off in less than a week is clearly offensive for victims of sexual assault.

Yes, it's true that Kin is not a human. But we can't forget that this connection readers have to characters disregards such differences. Harry Potter was insanely successful because of the connection younger children formed with the characters. Harry Potter being a wizard was irrelevant.

Obviously, I don't share the same view as Kins recovery being incredibly outrageous/unacceptable. I can only give sincere sympathy, not true empathy.
This is Thunts work, and if he wants to go back and flesh out/increase the time it took to travel to the Maze, he can. I will always support more Goblins content.
If he doesn't, I respect his decision to reflect his mothers recovery and desire to experience romance.

He certainly doesn't deserve to be attacked. Thunt should know that his fan base will support whatever decision he decides to make and direction he decides to take.

[Soyeong]

That's an interesting idea. I wonder if our Kin is actually exceptional among the Kins in the MoM? We've seen stupid Kin and smart MinMax ... I wonder if she is smarter than the average Kin? Or perhaps has a higher Wisdom score, giving her a bit more mental fortitude. If her seeming recovery was simply due to her INT score then you might expect many of the Kins to have had the same "something must change so I'll make it me" moment that to my mind signaled the start of her recovery. Granted the actions of MinMax and Forgath probably have helped her in ways that other Kins might not have experienced, but it seems that the core of her position and potential recovery comes from within and so I am left wondering if she is something special in Kin-dom.

The other Kins with her seemed pretty excited to save the universe with math, so having a high int score seems common. However, I think this recovery has more to do with having a high wisdom score because wisdom has to do more with understanding the human (or non-human) condition. The problem is that even knowing that she should forgive doesn't make it any easier to actually do it, so it took both her inner strength and the help of MinMax and Forgath to make it through.

[Corpsificus]

On the subject of criticism of the comic, perhaps it should be taken into account that it does update one page at a time. Story arcs that leave a bad taste in the mouth can finish sweetly if given time. On Kin's recovery, she not only has gone through extreme stress and trauma from Dellyn, but also extreme stress and trauma from the MOM. Psimax just blew up her tail not too long ago and the fact that she was able to magic a new one would undoubtedly trigger some emotional euphoria. In combination with her troubled past, it seems she is overjoyed that things may start to be looking up for her. It may not be that she is recovering too quickly, she may have just been overcome with emotion and joy that for that one moment it did not matter what happened to her. Additionally consider the Serpent Folk "seeing" where two individuals share pleasure and pain. It has been demonstrated that Kin and Minmax have this connection so when both are happy being overcome with joy to the point of utter bliss and carelessness may be a side effect. We can't rule it out until more information is given. Either way, I believe that Kin is not necessarily rushing into things despite her past and mitigating circumstances likely account for her behavior when analyzed.

[AntMac]

It upsets me that ********* still talks about Goblins, and it upsets me more that anyone who cares about Tarol bothers to keep track of anything she says.

She's a nasty piece of work, and the best response is to entirely ignore her. Other than sabotaging Goblins in favor of GKC, her opinions really have no further meaningful effects

Calm down and think positive)). I'm also annoyed by such... readers. But their hatred also unites the community. No need to try persuading anyone on the internetz how ridiculous their obsession is. I feel myself more devoted to the comic, because I know Thunt is right and they are wrong.

+ 1. Then + 1 on top of that.

Anyone with a candid mind and even slightly observant knows that the young man is good hearted, considerate and the very last person most of us will encounter, who would think it was right to be bigoted or dismissive of others feelings, or even non-understanding of even a potentially malignant persons opinion.

To be honest, I sometimes feel like Thunt takes it a bit far sometimes with the "understanding", because sometimes he has been so, to quite obviously malignant, bad-hearted and chauvinistic sorts of people, he has bent over backwards to not offend particular people who, studied objectively, are clearly trolls or enthusiasts. And yet, that is just what the guy is like, it is his nature, so really he isn't "bending over backwards" for anyone, he is just being himself.

On a personal note, thinking about this whole topic of the thing that is rape last night and not being able to sleep, waking up and remembering it, dwelling on the thing all day at work, I was so gloomy and unhappy that my jaw was hurting on the bus home . I had been clenching my teeth all day I think. I am going to go watch "The Princess Bride" now, because. Just because.

[heridfel]

I have my own theory about why Kin's recovery apparently took so little time IC. We saw at the start of this run that the crew had done the Maze of Many 1982771 times and had failed each time. My theory is that the Maze of Many doesn't do a complete wipe of memory, even if the counter is broken. It will reset XP, but otherwise, it's similar to someone who suffers from anterograde amnesia - the participants don't properly form new memories.

Wikipedia has a decent write-up, but the part that I find interesting is that there are different kinds of memories. One example given is training those with anterograde amnesia to run a maze. Though they don't consciously remember having run the maze, they do better at it than they did the first time, indicating that some learning is going on.

If this is the case, then it could indicate that Kin has been learning to trust MinMax over these runs. I think it's safe to say that they have done significantly more runs than most of the other realities (except maybe zombies), so she would have had the most time to learn that he could be trusted. I can't find the comic where it's implied that the reason they've done the Maze so many times is because they try to keep everyone alive, but that could also be a big factor.

Finally, why is it reasonable to set things up this way? It means that the Maze is less likely to get into a failed state where all participants are unable to complete the Maze. Otherwise, if one slate of Maze participants ever failed to get to the treasure room, the Maze would have to change out one of the teams to not have the exact same thing happen again. Since our group has failed nearly 2 million times, it seems unlikely that they wouldn't have gotten booted out, considering that it's pretty easy to lock the Maze at the Battle Royale.

This way, participants will slowly figure out how to get through the Maze, though they won't consciously remember having solved some of these puzzles before.

[kingreaper]

Sadly where I feel Kin's story falls apart is the mental aspect. I also don't think it's disrespectful, simply incorrect in some ways.

Type 5 mental onslaughts involve complete dehumanization of the target, and result in a feeling of helplessness. The target often believes they'll never be saved while held captive, and believe they are lesser to their 'masters'.

I'm not sure that this ever truly happened with Kin and Dellyn. She seemed perfectly willing to aid, and join, the Goblins in their escape attempt, which someone who believed they could never be saved wouldn't.

Add that she was forced against her will to do horrible things, and could not control her actions, and that she literally is a monster; I think the fantasy elements have made for mental abuse far beyond anything any human will have to deal with.

But she's not a monster in her own eyes, and never has been. Dellyn's a monster, by his own belief system, because he's neither human nor any other civilised race. For Kin, being a monstrous humanoid=/= being a monster. Being human is more of a sign of monstrosity than being a Yuan-ti is.

As for doing things due to literal mind control? I suspect that being forced to do things without mind control is more harmful than with it. Without mind control, you come to believe it was your choice, even if it was a choice from limited options, and therefore it's your fault.

With mind control, you never had any choice to make, so you can never blame yourself.

[willpell]

Dellyn's a monster, by his own belief system, because he's neither human nor any other civilised race.

He is human, he's just a templated human.

With mind control, you never had any choice to make, so you can never blame yourself.

Perhaps not, but you still experienced the performance of the actions, which can be traumatic enough, even if it wasn't really your fault.

[AntMac]

Finally, why is it reasonable to set things up this way? It means that the Maze is less likely to get into a failed state where all participants are unable to complete the Maze. Otherwise, if one slate of Maze participants ever failed to get to the treasure room, the Maze would have to change out one of the teams to not have the exact same thing happen again.

Unless. If one of the groups had found a D'n'D game in ones of the treasure rooms they encountered before entering the Maze, and got addicted to playing it at night, they might not be competing in the Maze properly. They might start each day with their Kin working out that they had as much chance of completing the maze every individual day as any other individual day . . . and every day when she explains that, the team members promptly saying to each other

"We could just flag it today, you know, and play a few rounds?".

[Aurora Moon]

Had to re-register to comment... (forgot my old account and password, and which e-mail I was using... oops).

Anyway... I have to say I've been there regarding Thunt's haters. while I haven't made comic pages (in a very long while), I continue to write stories and often have put them online, and or published them in short stories collections.

I have written about a lot of sensitive, serious issues as a way to have a healthy outlet for some of the traumatic events I have gone though myself as a deaf woman. Yet, total strangers who do not know me or even my personal history will attack me in the same way they did Thunt. They say all the same things they told him... that somebody going though such experiences wouldn't have reacted in such a way, etc. Sometimes they base it off their own personal experiences, but sometimes they haven't had such a thing happen to them yet they assume that people still has to act a certain way for it to be realistic.

In my case, it was often far more hurtful for me than it was for Thunt. Mainly because some of the "haters" I got did not seem to believe that I had gone though some of the stuff that my own characters did, and that I was actually writing this as an outlet for my own feelings. Because apparently I reacted in a "non-realistic" way in real life... so I had to be lying about what happened to me.
They just didn't seem to get that not all women are going to react the same way to an sexual assault, because each one of us are individuals.

As a deaf woman, I've had to put up with a lot of shit from ignorant people, and as an result I had to learn how to be a "fighter" but at the same time learn how to keep my inner calm. Because if I did not keep calm at all times though a type of meditative state, then the constant flak I got from audist people would had gotten under my skin and drove me to suicide.
For those who do not know, a Audist is a type of person who is specifically bigoted towards deaf people... it's basically a form of Able-ism in that they think that because a person has a form of "disability", that they have to be lesser than a "normal" person somehow.

Now keep in mind that I can drive just fine, hold down jobs, etc... I even can listen to music with the help of hearing aids. So it's not like I'm literally missing out on anything, you know? In fact I'm very able-bodied and is able to do anything that a "normal" person do... as an result I don't even consider myself "Disabled".
Yet there are people do does not see it that way, and often will treat me like a little child despite the fact that I'm well into my thirties now. They assume that deaf equals dumb, that I had to have an dosage of mental impairment alongside my deafness. This is not true!

But this was the type of attitude that played a role in the sexual assault that I endured when I was in college. The sexual predator on campus first heard about me and thought that because I was deaf, that I would be easier to control, etc. Just like how a child might be easier to control than an adult during..... well, you get the picture. He practically got aroused from that thought alone. Ugh.

In my case I reacted way differently than both the offender and everyone expected I would. you see, I'm what TV Tropes and a few of my friends would call "The stoic"... but it might be more accurate to say that I responded to a high stress situation like some creep threatening to hurt me if I didn't comply to his sexual demands, with "Tranquil Fury". This was what I wrote about in some of my stories... which lead to other survivors claiming that the whole thing was "unrealistic".

Here's what happened to me in real life, and you can see for yourself whenever or not it was "unrealistic"?

When he was threatening me with bodily harm in order to get his way with me, on the outside I appeared to be nearly expressionless even though I did show signs of surprise. But on the inside I was going: "what? He wants to do that shit with me, and is clearly getting aroused at the thought of controlling me. FUCK NO, He's not getting his way." The more it went on, the more angry I got. Sure, a part of me was deathly scared that he would hurt me or even kill me, but the Anger was far more powerful than the fear itself. I acted calm and somewhat submissive while I waited for his guard to be down, and even took off my top off at his demand. It was then he made the stupid mistake of assuming that he had already won. He were in the process of dis-robing himself completely when I managed to find myself a pen within reach. It wasn't much in terms of a weapon.. but in desperate situations ANYTHING can be a weapon. Anyway, it did it's job pretty well as I stabbed him in the neck area with it, which led to a pretty impressive bloody mess. I was able to shove him, and make him hit his head against a table on the way down. He left himself exposed down there... so I used the bloody pen to stab him again, but this time in a far more delicate area.
While he was stunned and immobilized with pain, I was able to grab my top and escape.

It was only later when I was safe did I fully freak out about the fact that.. holy shit, I had almost been raped. Sadly for me, this wasn't the first sexual assault that I had experienced... although previous attempts had mainly been groping/etc rather than full-on attempted rape. They all left me feeling frightened or queasy afterwards when I got to a safe spot.

Yet, other women tell me that a lady wouldn't feel so stoic/calm/etc during an crime like that... so therefore my experience had to be bullshit?? So then they keep on ragging on me for "trivializing rape" or even for simply adding rape for the sake of drama in a few of my stories. Guh.

[Moroser]

..Thaco..

"Who's Ken?"

[Aurora Moon]

oops, I meant, Thunt. ^_^;;

edit: fixed the post up above to say Thunt instead of "Thaco". I don't know why my mind keeps on messing up his name. argh.

[Moroser]

oops, I meant, Thunt. ^_^;;

Of course you did. But I couldn't resist the temptation of using a proper quote))).

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

[willpell]

Yet, total strangers who do not know me or even my personal history will attack me in the same way they did Thunt. They say all the same things they told him... that somebody going though such experiences wouldn't have reacted in such a way

Yes because human beings are robots who always react to the same situation in exactly the same manner. Those commenters can officially get stuffed.

Sometimes they base it off their own personal experiences, but sometimes they haven't had such a thing happen to them yet they assume that people still has to act a certain way for it to be realistic.

Those who dare to plumb the labyrinthine corridors of TVTropes, go look up "Reality is Unrealistic". It describes the many ways in which cinema has altered the public's perception of what is actually true, so they end up criticizing actual documentation for not living up to their movie-and-TV-based expectations. Fascinating stuff.

I even can listen to music with the help of hearing aids.

So by "deaf" you meant "extremely diminished audio acuity", not "completely unable to process sound sensation"? Or do you "listen" to music by feeling the vibrations? (Technically that's what we're all doing, but you know what I mean.) Just curious, you can ignore my inquiry if it's rude for me to ask.

Yet there are people do does not see it that way, and often will treat me like a little child despite the fact that I'm well into my thirties now. They assume that deaf equals dumb, that I had to have an dosage of mental impairment alongside my deafness. This is not true!

Well mental impairment is so common and so encouraged in our society. I pretty much assume it of everyone until they prove otherwise.

[Aurora Moon]

I even can listen to music with the help of hearing aids.

So by "deaf" you meant "extremely diminished audio acuity", not "completely unable to process sound sensation"? Or do you "listen" to music by feeling the vibrations? (Technically that's what we're all doing, but you know what I mean.) Just curious, you can ignore my inquiry if it's rude for me to ask.

There are different degrees of deafness, and different types as well. Without my hearing aids, I'm profoundly deaf. I literally cannot hear anything without them.
The way the hearing aids work for me, is that it does that though a mixture of vibrations caused by sound in my ears from the hearing aids, and the sound itself. The hearing aids amplify the sound and channel it back into my ears, and then the sound creates this vibration in my hearing aid's buds.

I can enjoy music that way, though a mixture of vibrations and sound. Of course, with my type of deafness I can't still make most words that people say without being able to look at them directly. I have to depend on lipreading and guesswork based on how they're acting to know what they're saying to me. So with the music, I don't listen to the lyrics... I just enjoy the sound of it.

Did that answer all of your questions?

[willpell]

Pretty much, thank you for sharing.

[extrabigmehdi]

Just a quick reaction to Thunt post :
I realize that the globlin story has a deeper background, and it's great. I'm not just spending time at reading an entertaining story, I see how someone deal with a non trivial matter , such like a trauma from rape. I was a bit skeptical about how Kin felt in love so fast with Minimax, but I guess there's just a "desire of life" in everyone, that overcomes any trauma.

[RocketScientist]

Thank you to everyone who has shared their story. And kudos for surviving your trauma, however you did it.

Can we try not to suggest that any one way of dealing with trauma is better than any other way? The best way of dealing with any kind of trauma is both literally and figuratively, whatever gets you through the night. It doesn't make you a better person to pull yourself up by your whatever and insist that nothing can touch you. And it makes you look like a dick to insist that people who don't do what you think you would do are somehow inferior.

As for rape, I've personally known rape survivors who were promiscuous, cloistered, and everything in between. I have no problem with Kin's reaction. You just never know what trauma will do to a person, or how they will react.

And one more request. Can we not act like the letter writer was attacking Thunt? She totally wasn't. Or if she was, then she wasn't doing a very good job of getting that across. What I got out of the letter was "I appreciate your attempt to deal with trauma. I have been through similar trauma. I don't think her reaction is appropriate. Love the comic, though." I really think she was trying to help. (She is welcome to tell me I'm wrong, though, if I am. Wouldn't be the first time I misinterpreted someone. )

[Aurora Moon]

Mostly we're referring to earlier events where another person started up so much drama and personally attacked Thunt over this issue. Thunt sharing that well-worded letter simply just brought up memories of that again. So that's why we talked about personal attacks, and people's comments about how "kin wouldn't have acted this way or that way."

[Kavalion]

Well, I think the writer of that letter is being overly dramatic. There are many strong women and men who suffer rape and worse and endure it with the kind of mental fortitude that will make you smile in admiration. I don't care for the constant promotion of fear culture. If something bad happens, it doesn't ruin the person for life.

If Kin is a character who is strong and smart and can endure terrible things, then that just makes her a hero. Don't hate the writer for writing about a hero. There are plenty of heroes in the real world, too.

[RocketScientist]

Again, people are different. Some things do break certain people. Some things do ruin certain people for life, or at least for a very long time. I am really uncomfortable with making these "strong" people out to be heroes at the expense of people whose coping skills are different. If you can put something behind you quickly, then great. But if you can't, then you can't. It doesn't make you less of a person. It makes you different. Maybe you don't have a support network. Maybe you don't have the requisite self-esteem. Maybe a million things.

Also, how was the letter writer doing any author-hating? (ICYWW, I am not the letter writer, nor do I have any idea who is.) The person to whom Aurora Moon is referring did, IIRC. I remember her kind of yelling that not-Walter was threatening Kin with gang rape when he was telling GoldMax to look forward to a group ass-kicking upon his arrival in the hells. Seriously not cool of her, but I choose to believe that she's dealing with her own problems the best way she knows how, too. And I'm not interested in kicking somebody who is down.