The Goblins Fan Forum

You receive a flamethrower from a discount flamethrower shop. With it you are able to slowly defrost Sam, but as he just starts to be able to move his legs again, there is a sudden hissing noise from your flamethrower! It explodes, gasoline filling the air around you and fire spreading across it like water. As you are burning, you can just barely make out Sam walking casually away as you burn.

I want Hermione Granger! And a rocketship!

(I don't usually grant wants nor multiple wishes at the same time. I guess I'll make an exception.)

You get Hermoine Granger, who has been transformed into a rocketship. No sooner do you obtain her than you are whisked off to Azkaban, both for being the cause of her transmutation and for being in possession of an enchanted muggle vehicle. Good luck getting out of there to use said rocketship, and Hermoine is surely pissed off from your request.

I wish for magic not to be merely illusion.

Granted.

Rabbits and doves become the main animals of the world and slowly but surely everyone find a new food source to eat. The problem comes when mere street magicians realize they are rich as they can pull coins out from behind peoples ears at will. They slowly become world leaders as many become un-killable by bullets, drowning and fire.
They become overlords and a new world order is kicked into gear.

I wish for a joke that can kill.

Granted, you're the joke. If you kill, you'll still go to prison, but you still can if you want.

I wish to not make a wish.

You do not make a wish, meaning that I am not contractually obligated to create some witty catastrophic event. Too bad about that incoming meteor you could have wished away.

I wish that I could be human so that I could be a starship ranger!

Wish granted. But it turns out that being a starship ranger is incredibly boring and the pay is horrible. You hate every second.

I wish that it would be spring!

Granted now when ever people try to say and write the word it they instead use the word spring.

I wish everything tasted like medium cooked steak.

Everything in the world tastes like steak. You lose your ability to taste anything.

I wish I got to partake in more snowball fights.

You have become every snowball in the world as a collective conscious, each of your selves being destroyed in battle. You are now part of every snow ball fight

I wish more animals wanted to be around me

Two pythons decided they definitely want to be around you and so wrap them selves about your body, weirdly they don't eat nor kill you but you do no find it hard to wear any new clothes.

I wish the stars were right.

The stars all become right handed, it does not amount to much except for a very confused Bruce Willis and Morgan Freeman. Left or right highhandedness does not really affect the stars career much.

I wish that every animal on the planet would suddenly shrink by two feet.

A year? Seriously... a year??!!??

Not that I have room to talk, it's been that long since I've been here, but I expected 1000 pages of this thread!

So, all those animals lose 2 feet. So cats and dogs now walk on two legs, while people (who are also animals) now hobble sounds on their knees while running from our new bipedal overlords.

I wish I could eat whatever I want without getting sick or poisoned or any other ill effects.

You can eat whatever you want without being poisoned, mainly because you can't absorb anything! Even the nutrients that give you life. Yay!

I wish I could travel the world for free.

Granted - You are absolutely able to travel the world for free - If you can escape the airline or other transportation security, of course, who might arrest you for not paying ! Alternatively, you could walk or swim through the ocean... Which might kill you.

You already could do both of that without the wish, but who am I to judge you.


I wish for true and returned love.

You find a love that is true, pure, and returned. It seems like the perfect situation. Unfortunately, your new mate is a fly, and will be dead within the week.

I wish I could master a skill in

Congratulations you are a master of a skillin...Jody Skillin of New York, New York...

Who is now testifying against you in court that you enslaved her and made her run a hazardous bass-o-matic....if your lucky, they will only give you twenty years and not life...

I wish for nothing...

You are transported to a place of non- existence. You are aware, but there is no sound, no light, no smells, No senses of any kind. Even Your thought process is non - coherent. You simply exist, knowing nothing of the universe continuing around you.

I wish for a bowl of cottage cheese.

You now have a bowl of cottage cheese. It not very good though as the cottage cheese can't remain in bowl form for very long and it quickly just becomes a lump on the table.

I wish Batman v Superman :dawn of justice was better.

It is, indeed it is the greatest movie of all time, everyone wants to see it, so much that is only shown in the theaters and that means there is a waiting line for seven years to see it, and when you finally got tickets you miss out due to a wardrobe malfunction!

I wish coffee was not only refreshing but also a cure for illnesses of all sorts!

Coffee is discovered as a miracle cure-all. As such now only the fabulously wealthy can afford it, and it is denied to the public unless they can afford thr new 5000 dollar price tag. Starbucks begins serving Sencha green tea.

I wish indigestion and heartburn didn't exist.

Indigestion and heartburn stop existing. Because every living being all of a sudden doesn't have any mouth, esophagus or digestive system anymore, thus all starve.

I wish boobs wouldn't be affected by gravity.

Boobs no longer adhere to the laws of gravity, or any other laws of nature for the matter... at random they build and lose energy from no where, going from ice cold to on fire, while at the same time shifting freely between solid, gas or liquid form fully and at random. Times effect on them... lets not go there....

I wish we could eat what we wanted without any weight gain/loss or risk of getting sick/poisoned

Granted...
Your throat magically transports the material entering your throat to another dimension so you can eat anything without fear of poison or loosing weight. You do not need to fear loosing weight because you die of asphyxiation within a few minutes before you body can even start to think about metabolizing all that fat on your carcass...

I wish I owned a casino in Las Vegas...

a couple of atom-bombs completely destroys Las Vegas, razing every last structure to bits. Alas, you buy the deed to one of the biggest, most expensive and most profitable casinos before watching the news. Congratulations you're proud owner or a casino that has been turned into a pile of dust! Oh, and a huge debt that you planned to pay off with your winnings.



I wish I'd never again get pimples (especially in places I need to put weight on throughout large portions of the day )

Granted,instead of pimples huge warts and puss filled blisters starts to decorate your body at random places. at least they make for pleasant conversation partners, except for Harry! hes an angry one who have borrowed deep into your armpit!

I wish fishing did not NEED regulation because fish was abundant and had places live and breed we could never get to or effect!