You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

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nikohl
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by nikohl » Thu Dec 12, 2013 1:26 am

Pylons? Get the hell away from me. Who makes a business proposition between stalls? No I will not pass you any toilet paper. Well you should have considered that before you started yelling at me about pylons while I'm trying to dispense my oil waste in private.

I suggest you sit there and think about your actions.

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Quarg
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by Quarg » Thu Dec 12, 2013 5:45 am

Please! Please let me build your pylons....I know I only have this snorkel to clean up spilled oil...but really that is all I do...
Well...yeah....I know I can't actually build your pylons since I only have four wheels and this snorkel, but maybe you can put a word in for me at the Drone reassignment center? Please?

You don't have to go all the way over there actually, I know for a fact that Drone HAL just got out back from a long trip yesterday...
Really...why are you reading this?

Eileen Ap'Fyretorr

Davecom3
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by Davecom3 » Thu Dec 12, 2013 6:55 pm

I can't do it, Dave. You're no longer a club member, and our club only buids pylons for active club members. You want to rejoin the club? No, Dave, no, Dave, I'm not going to let you back in, back in. No, Dave, no, Dave, I'm not going to let you back in.

Go to Customer Service Drone #d734 for non-member pylon set-up.

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BeanDip
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by BeanDip » Thu Dec 12, 2013 9:05 pm

In order to apply for additional pylons I will need you to fill out these forms in triplicate and those forms in octoplicate. You are required to use a fine-tip ink pen with ink code #0c0c0c. Any other ink will invalidate the forms. Please write all answers in C++ . Provide a list of at least twelve credible references on a separate sheet of non-lined, bright inkjet paper free of imperfections. Imperfections or other types of paper will invalidate the forms. Provide your current medical history and family health history back to your great-great grandparents and any clone's medical history. A credit check will be required.

Please allow a time period of six months to sixty years to pass before you contact the department.

If initially approved we will begin the review of the recommendation to review your request.

All questions and complaints should be directed to our Department head, Drone **PHIL**
Last edited by BeanDip on Fri Dec 13, 2013 10:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Wolfie
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by Wolfie » Fri Dec 13, 2013 8:53 am

Phil here, and I want to sell you some handy, dandy, extra special pylons. These babies are sleek. They are shiny. And lucky for you, I can sell them to you at the low low price of 7 payments of just $78,972.99. But wait! If you call now, I'll double your order and knock off a payment! So that's 2 pylons for 6 low payments of $78,972.99.

What? You don't like my pylons? Cheap? They aren't cheap.... well, they could crack if you hit them hard enough... or put pressure on them at all. But still, these are quality stage pylons!

You need regular, every day, USABLE pylons? Well, then, take your business elsewhere.

A recommendation? A recommendation? The nerve of you!

Fine. Try Data Droid Omega Alpha Beta Damn over there. He might help you.
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Zathyr
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by Zathyr » Fri Dec 13, 2013 2:31 pm

Pylons? Processing request. . . . Accessing all available data regarding pylons . . . Pylon data compilation .3 percent complete . . . Processing . . . Pylon data compilation .7 percent complete . . . Please stand by, your patronage is appreciated . . . Processing . . . Pylon data compilation 1.1 percent complete . . . ++small talk subroutine error #FA09C311; //consult drone #ststams0??34* for maintenance and pylons//++ . . . Processing . . . Pylon data compilation 1.5 percent compete; estimated corruption of data 2.3 percent . . . Processing . . .
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SamWiser
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by SamWiser » Sun Dec 15, 2013 2:53 am

Out of the shadows a dark figure appears.

"Yeah, he's always like that." It says to you. "Still, I think I can find you what you need, though it might not be completely... above board. Of course I'll need some payment first."

"Of course," you say, remembering Phil, "I'll pay anybody that can give me usable pylons."

"What? You want pylons? I thought you wanted some AK-47's. Go get my buddy Sid. He's located at the Black Market. He can help you get your stupid pylons". The voice scoffs in disgust as you walk away.
Thanks to Arch Lich Burns for the avatar, and Mnementh for the mustache.

ÔÇ£Shoot the dictator and prevent the war? But the dictator is merely the tip of the whole festering boil of social pus from which dictators emerge; shoot him and there'll be another one along in a minute. Shoot him too? Why not shoot everyone and invade Poland?ÔÇØ
ÔÇò Terry Pratchett

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BeanDip
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by BeanDip » Sun Dec 15, 2013 5:56 pm

► Show Spoiler
The directions lead you to a small residential building hidden in a tiny alcove. The house looks like it's falling apart and the whole area looks scummy. You haven't seen another person or drone for the last half hour. You knock and the door opens by itself. You see yourself in and and call out to see if anyone is inside. It's a small house, just three rooms and from the bedroom door, a drone steps out. He's followed by a small crew of five hovering auto-cameras with built-in microphones. He approaches you and motions to a chair nearby.

"Hello," He says to you, "I'm Journalism Drone TCAP with the Scandal TV Network. Why don't you have a seat?"

You hesitate but comply and sit in the uncomfortable metal chair nearby.

The journalism drone paces back and forth a little. "Can I ask you what you are doing here tonight?"

"I'm looking for pylons," You tell him.

"Pylons? You're sure? You don't look like the type of guy that would need pylons, especially at this time of night."

"It's not that late. I'm serious, man. Just looking for pylons."

"Uh huh," He motions one of his cameras closer to you, "Do you usually look for pylons in this section of town?"

"I've never even been to this part of town before. I was sent here by a shadowy figure who said his friend was here."

"You were sent here. You didn't get the guys name and you never saw his face because he was standing in the shadows. You may not know this mysterious shadow figure's name but does the name Sid ring any bells?"

"Yes. Sid is who I was sent here to see."

"That's what I thought. You see, I have transcript from a comm-link between you and Sid. Sid is one of our finest undercover agents. Can you read back some of the things you and Sid talked about?"

You throws a big pile of papers on the table near you. You look at the paper and your heart sinks as you read some of the horrible things written there. You can't even bring yourself to say them out loud. "This isn't me. "

"No? Sure, the signal was encrypted and sent from an anonymous server but this is the time and location you and Sid agreed to meet. You two also agreed that 'Pylons' would be your code word."

"You don't understand. That shadow guy must have set me up! You should be looking for him, not me!"

"You were set up? Well then, I can see now this is all a mistake. Very sorry, sir. You're free to leave."

You stand up and step around the journalism drone and then squeeze between his cameras. You head out the door as quickly as possible but are immediately swarmed by a large gang of standard security drones. Seeing as the standard model stand eight-feet tall and wields a plasma pistol you surrender peacefully. They read you your rights and you are transported to a cellblock to await trial.

Your cellmate is a drone who looks terribly beat up. His paint-job is wild and you recognize a few gang symbols on him you saw on a cop show one night. He looks like the kind of drone who could get you black market pylons.
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SamWiser
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by SamWiser » Mon Dec 16, 2013 10:45 pm

► Show Spoiler
What? You want more pylons? I'm a security droid. I can't build pylons. When you get out in 7-12 years call my brother Droid #154. He'll get you some. Now I have to give you your daily beating.
Thanks to Arch Lich Burns for the avatar, and Mnementh for the mustache.

ÔÇ£Shoot the dictator and prevent the war? But the dictator is merely the tip of the whole festering boil of social pus from which dictators emerge; shoot him and there'll be another one along in a minute. Shoot him too? Why not shoot everyone and invade Poland?ÔÇØ
ÔÇò Terry Pratchett

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Quarg
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by Quarg » Tue Dec 17, 2013 12:51 pm

After a few hours, you are released since the Journalism Bot apparently has now attempted to have a Judge arrested for sentencing...a General arrested for commanding,...and her Boss for firing her...

Droid #154 looks at him. "You want pylons...how big? Oh hell no, those have to be built in place...Oh, you know that...Well I only sell small pylons...perfectly legal licenced pylons...oh, yeah I suppose your office would have a licence since you guys issue them in the first place...but like I said...small pylons...you need a pylon builder. Talk to Drone 666-999, he sources all my pylons...
Really...why are you reading this?

Eileen Ap'Fyretorr

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LooksAndSmiles
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by LooksAndSmiles » Thu Dec 19, 2013 5:36 am

Yes, I'm sourcing the pylons, but the warp-gate they are coming through is currently down. Something like a human-infestation or what do you call it. In any case, I'm out of plyons for the rest of the week. You could nudge Transdimensional Repair Bot TRB-6245 to get the warp-gate running to get your precious pylons...

... you are not interested in getting a Nexus instead, hmmm? Half-price?
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BeanDip
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by BeanDip » Thu Dec 19, 2013 1:16 pm

Sorry bud, I can't get the warp-gate fixed without more pylons. If you could get me some additional pylons then I could get the warp-gate fixed to get you your additional pylons.

I heard that the sexy, new Copier-Droid in Office Building 5T just printed off some Pylon Requisition Forms. Go check with her and if you get a chance, take a peek at her toner cartridge carriage. Wowzer.
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raaabr
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by raaabr » Tue Jan 07, 2014 4:50 pm

Oh, sorry sir. This isn't building 5T, it's 5 Tea. Terribly sorry for the confusion. Build? Oh, you want Drone #749 in the engineering department. He has a degree.
Sometimes I get the feeling that If I was a goblin I would be called "Chews scenery". I have no idea why people might think that!

Nerre
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by Nerre » Wed Jan 08, 2014 1:20 am

Ok, I will do it. Just show me your legs. Why? I have to take measurement. How else am I supposed to craft them? What your legs got to do with it? You have to wear them, don't you? Hm? Oh, you asked for Pylons. I thought you said Nylons. Sorry, I am only a tailor unit. Drone #749? I am not the Drone you are looking for. I am #794, not #749. #749 is an engineer. You are on the wrong level, ask one deeper, the engineering department is there.
:zzz:

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Quarg
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by Quarg » Wed Jan 08, 2014 5:51 am

Yes, I'm an engineering Droid....Wait you want me to design what? Umm...you realize that I'm an electrical engineering Droid, I don't have the first clue how to design a pylon...now if you need a couple of good circuit boards...You want pylons...but there are no pylons being delivered. Have you tried custom manufacturing? Yes, the custom manufacturing department is located wayyyyyyy on the other side of the facility. Talk to Drone 99-44-00 who is the Foreman drone for the shop, she should be able to get making custom pylons for you...
Really...why are you reading this?

Eileen Ap'Fyretorr

Nerre
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by Nerre » Wed Jan 08, 2014 6:04 am

"Yes, we do make pylons. But only keyring-sized ones for tourists. Sorry." he thinks for a moment. "But I got those plans of how they look like from drone 22x-44 from the construction office. Maybe they can help you."
:zzz:

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BeanDip
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Re: You must construct additional pylons! A game of excuses.

Post by BeanDip » Wed Jan 08, 2014 5:41 pm

"Pylons? Sure thing! Give me a second to radio my crew."

*Drone 22x-44 quickly speaks binary into a nearby radio.*

"There you go, I've just ordered the destruction of five pylons. Should be done within the hour."

"Wait. CON-struction? Sir, this is the DE-struction Office. Why would you come to the Destruction Office to have something constructed? No, I can't call it off, that's above my paygrade."

"Go see Drone BAXTER-90. He's two floors up then take a left, then a right, another right, two steps south, rotate 90 degrees, bend backwards at exactly a forty-seven angle, take the second hallway, then one more left and his office will be behind the first slightly blueish-gray door, directly next to a slightly grayish-blue door. DO NOT OPEN the slightly grayish-blue door; we're keeping our newest destruction experiment behind it. You'll be instantly and painfully vaporized. Have a nice day."
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