Arrested Development

[John]

Davecom3, you are under arrest for conducting an arrest without an avatar. Davecom 1 and Davecom 2 have been executed by lethal inception . Your sentence is to make an avatar before you next post.

[Davecom3]

John, you are arrested for arresting on false pretenses. Everybody can see I have an avatar of the invisible man. Your sentence is to create a better avatar for me to use.

[Theonewhoisodd]

Dave you are under arrest because I have to arrest you to carry out my previous sentence that you sentenced me too. Your sentence is three years working as my personal cruise ship, following that your sentence will be reversed so that you must carry out all actions of the previous three years in the reverse order the same way otherwise you will be subject to further prosecution on the terms of the Prussian-Irish dis-armistice treaty of 1849. This includes but is not limited to: Becoming my brother in a holy war waged entirely on dairy farms for conspiring to take over my left arm, help defeat the last rat king known as m0rtimer, eat three hundred pounds of cottage cheese in an attempt to embargo the dairy farms as previously mentioned, and removing the warts of six hundred and eighty-three witches.

There will be no chance for parole unless you swallow a whole stripper pole.

[Godbot]

Aha! So, Theonewhoisodd, you're conspiring to slay the rat king, are you? You're under arrest for future murder, and regicide, no less. Your sentence is to pay those three hundred pounds of cottage cheese you have for some reason to the rat kingdom, as tribute.

And if you need to sign your left arm over to a dairy farm or something to get another three hundred pounds of cottage cheese so that you can eat it all in three years, then so be it. It's out of the law's hands now.

[Quarg]

Godbot you are hereby charged with aiding and abetting the usurper and traitor m0rtimer, by arresting the resistance's primary dairy agent Odd. Furthermore you are charged with the crime of dismemberment of said Odd and forcing people to buy your god awful cottage cheese.

Your sentence is to be turned into a mouse and the rest of your days as a slave in the bathroom of the One True Queen, Wolfie...

[Theonewhoisodd]

Quarg you are under arrest for refusing to count me as a god. Your sentence is death. May Wolfie and I have mercy on your soul.

[Nolandking]

Theonewhoisodd you are under arrest for appointing yourself as a god. The punishment for this crime is death by my personal bear cavalry.

[Alavar]

Nolandking, you are arrested for 999 charges of animal cruelty.
Your punishment is series of deathmatches with all your bears. If you prove victorious you will be pacefully killed by poison.

peacefully, of course

[mnementh]

Alavar, I hereby place you under arrest for cruelty to poison.

We find you guilty of 3 counts of keeping a toxic liquid against its will, and 2 counts of terrorizing a toxic liquid with the presence of NoLandKing, a hanging crime in 47 sectors of the known universe.

You are sentenced to hang out with NoLandKing for a period of no less than 3 days per count, wherein you must act cool and do whatever NoLandKing wants to do, no matter how embarrassing, as long as he does it too. May TheOneWhoIsOdd have mercy on your thong. You'll need it.


mnem

Quarg you are under arrest for no reason at all other than I feel you need to be put in jail to protect others. Your sentence is 700 years in the bowels of mnementh.

HEY! You're supposed to be punishing Quarg, NOT ME!

I hereby demand that I shall have a pass on all future punishments on the grounds of time served; at least until such time passes and Quarg too passes.

[Godbot]

I hereby demand that I shall have a pass on all future punishments on the grounds of time served; at least until such time passes and Quarg too passes.

Freeze, scumbag! You're under arrest for diplomatic immunity! Anything you say cannot and will not be used against you, but you're sentenced to cops quoting that line from Lethal Weapon 2 at you basically indefinitely from now on.

[mnementh]

GodBot! My favorite prehistoric semi-alcoholic gun-waving Red Reptile!

*Manly dragon hug*

Great to see you dude! What happened to your avatar? Did The Nothing on BlindFerret take it away like it did all my best rhetoric?

Oh, BTW... you're under arrest for not being any of those things...

We find you guilty of 3 counts of Posting Without a T-Rex, 2 counts of being blind, stinking sober and 7 counts of not terrorizing us with a handgun.

You are hereby sentenced to go "PPPPPPTTTTTTTT!" at at any nearby magical wyrms (but please, no purple worms) until such time as you either give a BLEEP! or you get your avatar back and re-enlist in Dragon Club, whichever comes last.


mnem
I had toes for lunch.

[SamWiser]

Mnementh, you are placed under arrest for letting dinosaurs into the dragon club, but not cool birds.

Your punishment is that you must train with the penguins in antarctica until your tail is blue.

[Theonewhoisodd]

Sam you are under arrest for threatening Mnementh even though he is currently serving a 700 year long sentence. Your sentence is pancakes with no chance for syrup, jelly, peanut butter, or butter.

[mnementh]

TheOneWhoIsOdd, I hereby place you under arrest for...being YOU.

We find you guilty of an infinite number of charges of an undisclosed nature, and sentence you to be rewritten by an infinite number of monkeys on a finite number of typewriters with 1 ream of paper.

► Show Spoiler

Mnementh, you are placed under arrest for letting dinosaurs into the dragon club, but not cool birds.

Your punishment is that you must train with the penguins in antarctica until your tail is blue.

Fine. You can come with us to the Oscars; since we'll all be wearing Tuxedos anyway. A-a-and Antarctica is a no-way-in-hell-am-I-ever-going-back-there kindof thing; last time I was down there I hooked up with this SCHWANGGG! ice-dragon, and tail wasn't the only thing I got blue...

mnem
Ummm... I don't expect to be in Ninja Penguin Club just cause I'm wearing a tuxedo...

[Wolfie]

Odd you are under arrest for not having a significantly more terrifying avatar than something from a Monty Python skit. I hereby order you to report to the Barber shop for either a hair cut or a moustache.

Or bribe the guards with a funny dance including a top hat, tap shoes, and juggling three dwagons.

ninja'd by the dragon...

fine...

Mnem, I hereby place you under arrest for being too quiet for such a large creature. You are sentenced to wear bells and other such obnoxiously loud items (like a windchime on your tail) until we either fall over laughing, or your daughter has no more room to decorate you.

[WastesTime]

Wolfie, I hereby sentence you to death by decapitation for putting "girly thingies" on the sword. You are to be beheaded with the sword in question.

[Wolfie]

Wolfie, I hereby sentence you to death by decapitation for putting "girly thingies" on the sword. You are to be beheaded with the sword in question.

I challenge your ruling! Those "girly thingies" are my hand-fasting ribbons, a symbol of my relationship/marriage to my fiance. I hereby place you under arrest and sentence you to three years of looking up marriage rituals, their underlying meanings, and re-enactment of said rituals... whilst wearing a wedding gown, 5" heels, a full veil, and carrying a bouquet.

There may or may not be pictures

[Quarg]

Wolfie, I am here to inform you that we have discovered your true identity, Louisa Calvert, True Lord Proprietor of Maryland. Furthermore we have also discovered your plot to overthrow the government of Maryland and re-install yourself as Lord Proprietor. You are to be held until such time as you release the whereabouts of the Fountain of Youth, El Dorado, and remove your pet Nessie from Loc Ness. I have assurances that once you do this, Maryland will be returned to you (excluding the District of Columbia.)

[Wolfie]

Damn... you found me out. Well then... I'll go quietly. But only if KnuckleKraken can replace Nessie

[Quarg]

Well, someone has to do something about Baltimore...

[mnementh]

Quarg, I hereby place you under arrest for not placing someone under arrest.

We find you guilty of willfully having arrested development in your arrested development; you are hereby sentenced to hang out in some degenerate dive bar in Cleveland (Take your pick) until such time as you are properly degenerate yourself.

► Show Spoiler

Well, someone has to do something about Baltimore...

Fine, fine, fine... I'll go occupy Baltimore. A few zorched mansions, maybe barbeque the mayor... they'll fall in line. It's not like I have to worry about the National Guard; they're all either in Afghanistan or recovering from PTSD...

mnem
Blame Canada!

[Quarg]

Mnementh, I hearby place you under arrest for attempting to usurp the Lord Propritor of Maryland, Louisa Calvert, aka Wolfie. You are sentenced by her Lordship to rebuild her families Captial of St Mary with your bare hands until such time as the Palace of the Calverts is rebuilt, and to then remove all of the peasents who are currently living around her family summer home of Riverdale.

Although she does thank you for eating the Mayor as that would have upset her own stomache.

[mnementh]

*Brandishes signed papers with the all-too-familiar "Howling Wolf" watermark*

Who do you think SENT me?

Quarg, I hereby place you under arrest for not knowing what you're talking about.

We find you guilty of somewhere between 5 and 17 counts of criminal irrelevance, 7 counts of failure to observe a posted fence, and 2 counts of WTF-Ever!

You are hereby sentenced to 2 consecutive lifetimes as a henpecked husband. Married to a Klingon. Of as-yet undecided gender.


mnem
Usurp, schmusurp. Sonuvacarp... I just remembered I need to get maple syrple.

[WastesTime]

A-HA!

Mnementh, I hereby sentence you to 10 years of hard labor in Canadian wilderness! You are to acquire sufficient amount of maple syrup to be able to fill the Maze of Many with it.

Why, do you ask? Because you failed, yes, FAILED to take us into account while thinking of getting the divine liquid.

[LAYF]

WastesTime, I hereby arrest you in the name of the dragon, the charges are high treason-by stealing his dragonbeathnessÔÇÖes marble syrup, you have forced him to fill the maze of many with honey instead!

You are found guilty of all charges, and in addition for having painted a mustache on MinimaxÔÇÖs face.
You are sentenced to a long life in the realm of honeymud and goblin babes that DieÔÇÖs dream of so often.