Arrested Development

[SamWiser]

Wearshats, you are charged with the corruption of young dragons everywhere. Your punishment is to be smoked by the dragons you corrupted.

[John]

SamWiser Gamgee, you are under arrest for having a penguin avatar who is obviously defying it's anatomical abilities by raising it's it's wing parallel to the ground forward! Everyone knows the can only be parallel to the ground when raise laterally!

For this you are punished to now be a pirate instead of a ninja. Sounds like a blessing to me you lucky dawg....you lucky scurvy sea dawg~!

[LAYF]

John, you are under arrest for trying to define Ninja anatomy and flexibility. And for trying to convert a Ninja to a pirate.
You are found guilty of all charges and sentenced to 4 years of only washing the deck of a ship that has been converted to a land bound restaurant, you must do so while having no access to rom in any way.

[Theonewhoisodd]

LAYF you are under arrest for having an animated avatar. Your sentence is to find some way to animate my avatar.

Edit: Sentence has been carried out

[mnementh]

Odd, you are under arrest for impersonating an Ood.

We find you guilty of 12 gazillion counts of CREEPY RED EYES , 376 counts of creepy tentacle face , and 1 count of not having YOUR brain in your hands as nature intended.

You are hereby sentenced to THE CIRCLE MUST BE BROKEN...


mnem
What is it Miss?

[Quarg]

Mnementh,
You are hereby sentenced to Death for interfering in Family Affairs without Trial or Appeal...
Odd has been selected to met out your punishment in whatever form, and time frame he so desires...

[mnementh]

Quarg -

You are under arrest for sentencing another player without the prerequisite amusing crime or funny citations.

We find you guilty of 42 counts of criminal unfunny-ness bordering on politician-ness, 1 count of "meh" and 6 counts of failing to deliver on cue.

You are hereby sentenced to duck-waddle forever from one bureaucratic organization to another seeking a grant to develop your funny walk, which shall never be granted under penalty of death by marshmallow peeps.


mnem
Slartibartfast, that will be ALL!

[LAYF]

Mnem, You are under arrest for raising a glass of grape juice in a non alcohol free area.
You are found guilty of this crime, along with other party killer crimes, such as drinking fat free milk in your white Russian, wanting your drink stirred, not shaken! And generally as a dragon latterly crashing the party.
You are sentenced to 3 years of brewery school education and 5 years of bartender service.

[mnementh]

LAYF, I hereby place you under arrest for not knowing your party lore.

We find you guilty of 3 counts of alcoholic obfuscation, 7 counts of not knowing the difference between a vodka martini & a proper gin martini (which IS stirred, not shaken), and 21 counts of throwing generally lame parties.

We hereby sentence you to 3 years remedial bartending school, 3 months of partying with the Drakkar Noir set until you barf your tonsils out, and compulsory restocking of each martini bar in New York City with olives and lemons until you know every Vodka Martini recipe by heart.

► Show Spoiler

I'll have you know that is a Double Fuck Me Up, Scottie served in a wine goblet because then all the girls "want a taste". Thank Ifni for Welch's
Concord Grape Juice. [EDIT] The reason people request fat-free milk in a White Russian is NOT to reduce calories; the coffee liqueur makes that pointless. It is to reduce the "greasy" texture caused by mixing Vodka and cream or milk. [/EDIT] And you can tell me I kill the party AFTER you've taken a turn on my dancepole. And yes, that is a metaphor for a... dancepole. };-)~~~~<

mnem
When you can mix a Vespers with your eyes closed, your training will be complete.

[SamWiser]

Mnementh, you are sentenced to taking up way too much room in the hot tub. If you wish to continue using said hot tub, you must do the P-90X workout for three months, without fail.

[mnementh]

Samwiser, I hereby place you under arrest for attempting to sentence a dwagon to commit a crime, and not having the decency to arrest him first.


We find you guilty of 2 counts of criminally negligent recrimination, 1 1/2 counts of indecent dwagon exposure, and 3.1415926 counts of "It's bigger on the inside than the outside".

We hereby sentence you to find a way to crossbreed a TARDIS and a Wave Pool, then deliver the result to Dragon Club.

► Show Spoiler

Wait, wait, wait...

How can a dwagon take up too much room in a "hot tub just big enough for him and 50 of his closest friends?"

'taint hardly possible.

As for workouts...PFFFFFT. YOU try lifting me into the air by your own power, THEN we'll talk.

mnem
* Knows the TRUE meaning of "FEEL THE BURN" *

[mnementh]

*Kicks himself in the manberries and runs away cackling; in hopes that someone will arrest him and save him from the ennui*


mnem
*cringe*

[SamWiser]

Mnementh, you are arrested for unnecessary violence toward a dragon. Those guys can hurt you. We will have to place you in protective custody/jail. You shall remain in jail until you heal the battered parts.

[Liesmith]

mnem and SamWiser, you are under arrest for thirteen counts of aggravated lurking. You are hereby sentenced to post replies on these forums until such time as you decide not to. Quitting before you stop will incur a penalty of doubled sentences. Quitting before you stop will incur a penalty of doubled sentences.

[mnementh]

Liesmith, you are under arrest for the perpetration of aggravating double and triple entendres.

We find you guilty of 4 counts of shifting the blame, 17 counts of WTFBBQSAUCE?!? and 17,399,257 counts of repeatedly being jocular via avatar in a vaguely incestuous fashion.

You are hereby sentenced to read the following aloud thrice, but only once. Four or five times, and in a grating, half-drunken Scottish accent. While performing on American Idol.

Fine, I won't quit.
Fine, I won't quit.

I'll just redouble my lrrking efforts in an effort to keep your replies to my replies to a maximum.
I'll just redouble my lrrking efforts in an effort to keep your replies to my replies to a maximum.

Or minimum.
Or minimum.

Just to maximize my minimalising skillz.
Just to maximize my minimalising skillz.

And to create tiny holstein cows with which to take over the DMV, and ultimately, the world.
And to create tiny holstein cows with which to take over the DMV, and ultimately, the world.

mnem
Oh, wait; you just did. Nevermind.

[SamWiser]

Mnementh, you are arrested for serving munchkins at a BBQ without proper permits for hunting, distributing, and serving munchkins. You are sentenced to cooking food for munchkins for the next three years.

[BeanDip]

SamWiser you are being arrested for lassoing large boulders with immoral intentions. You are sentenced to clean the charred adventurer from a dragon's toenails

[mnementh]

BeanDip, you are under arrest for Penguin Subversion, Conspiracy to Commit Unnatural Acts on Granite and Influence Peddling.

We find you guilty of 33 counts of Stuffing Minerals Full of Immoral Intentions, 17 counts of providing controlled Masonry to a member of the Upright Penguins Brigade, and 1 count of (Successfully) Attempting to bribe a Dwagon with Pedicure.

You are hereby sentenced to confiscate SamWiser's Lasso and use it to drag those BBQ munchkins over here. By those deliciously sinful boulders.


mnem
Oh, yes... right there. That's the spot... *DROOL* That barbarian's shinbone has been making me itch for weeks...

[BeanDip]

You are under arrest for drowning an anthill with your drooling. We find you guilty.

Your sentence is to repeat the word "drooling" until you experience semantic satiation.

[SamWiser]

BeanDip, you are under arrest for using big words/concepts without explaining them. You are sentenced to 10 months to reading to the intellectually impaired.

[BeanDip]

SamWiser, you are under arrest for not clicking the link in my post which explained the concept because I was too lazy to bother explaining it myself. We find you guilty.

Your sentences is to learn every concept about everything ever and then explain it to a deaf and blind chimpanzee until the chimp fully understands

[mnementh]

BeanDip, I hereby place you under arrest for cruelty to deaf, blind chimpanzees and the concept of Education itself.

We find you guilty of 3 charges of primitive behavior towards helpless primates, 42 counts of abusing "Life, the Universe & Everything", and 1 count of creating an utterly miserable being in memespace just to torment a Ninja.

We hereby sentence you to find the question to the answer, and to do so without dicing any primate brains. Or dwagon brains. Penguin brains are still fair game.


mnem
I know.

[SamWiser]

Mnementh, you are accused of not fully explaining the difference between a dragon and a dwagon. You are charged with 597 accounts of inciting confusion, and 3 cases of dwagon twolling. Your sentence is to become the official body guard for a local ninja penguin.

[mnementh]

SamWiser, you are under arrest for Unlawful Carnal Knowledge of the Unknowable and Unscrewing the Inscrutable.

We find you guilty of 17 counts of Statutory Introspection, 12 counts of Inciting a Monastery and 1 count of Being Too Clever For Your Own Good.

We hereby sentence you to 3 months Communist Service replacing every light blub that is about to fail. You must do so without fail, or your Period of Service begins anew.

mnem
Also, brush your teeth.

[Alavar]

SamWiser, you are arrested for tax evasion (20.500$ of unpaid taxes for employing purple draconic bodyguard).
You are sentenced to work for free as a bodyguard of Kim Kardashian (even days) and Paris Hilton (odd days). If for some reason you find them hot, you will be relegated to guarding Justin Bieber. If you find him hot... may God have mercy on your soul.

Edit:
ninja'ed. Let next one decide who should be arrested ;P