Herbert where art thou?

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Tea
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Herbert where art thou?

Post by Tea » Mon May 12, 2014 12:43 pm

Naps: so wait, who's Herbert?
Tea: just nevermind it, okay. Character Complaint Thread sounded lame as a title.
Naps: so, this is just a place for you to let all the people running around your head out in the open?
Tea: no, not just me....I'm leaving the door open so maybe some other people's people will show up.
Naps: I'm so outnumbering you and taking over.
Tea: remind me not to let that happen.
Naps: nope!
Tea: then I should remind you that so that nothing in here can affect anything else going on/anything else in which characters are involved that nothing you do here will affect your other self. Call it,...a parallel dimension if you will. Kinda a safety measure in case anything happens.
A: First Complaint: complaining is going to get boring real fast, not to mention that all that malice is not a good thing to build up.
Tea: ...oh, you decided to show up.
A: so obviously that's a misnomer. What Tea really means-
Tea: don't take words out of my mouth! So er, yeah, just talk or whatever, and if the writers/creators/players/controlling entities want to be tight lipped (or becaues we've duct-taped they're mouths shut so we can have the run of the place) that's they're problem.
A: mmrph!! mmh mhhm mmphh! hmph, well that was rude.
Tea: next time I find something better than duct tape.
Naps: well, looks like writers are fair game (since they'll let you go only as far as they'll let you), but as a guideline, if we take over here, the same rules apply to us as to everyone else, got it? (Ye Good Olde Rulebook a.k.a. standard forum rules)
Tea: who put you in charge here?
Naps: what, disagreeing?
Tea: no.
Naps: so, can I change my color? It's not normal, and I'm not related to that clan of white goblins.
A: No, it's staying.
Tea: and why isn't insubstantial useful space acceptable for a lair?
A: that's just laziness. You'll at least need somewhere where people can find you, and using carrier pigeons or letters folded into paper airplanes are not going to work as well in this place. I won't be able to rely on creator's supremacy as well in this realm.
A: I will definitely add in the carrier pigeons and paper airplanes though.
Naps: can I drink Tea?
A: this Tea? well,..no one has tried it, but if you want to be the first one to see what happens when you do...
Tea: people can drink me?
A: you're ruining future tidbits, try it and find out but I'm not telling you.
A: by the way, shouldn't we introduce ourselves? Well, they might have seen you two before, but I'm new. Well actually I'm....going to have to sort out naming conventions before I do that. Tea and I are sort of the same person, only we're not because there are two Teas who used to be the same person but then diverge-
Naps: I suggest you not try to explain too much, it may not even make sense and it tends to get rather lengthy and droll.
Last edited by Tea on Mon May 12, 2014 5:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Quarg
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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by Quarg » Mon May 12, 2014 5:30 pm

Lauren: "So...is it me or is person over there at the podium talking to themselves?"
Elizabeth: "Yes and no...the author and their alternate personality are arguing apparently."

Lauren:"Er...What am I doing here..."
Elizabeth:"I'm lonely....and I wanted to see how my latest incarnation was doing..."
Lauren:"I am of the blood and you are just a mere human..."
Elizabeth: "I'm actually a demi-god...or at least close to one..."
Lauren:"You're a demi-god? Your a bit...plainly dressed for a demi-god the ancient ones would scoff that someone not of the Blood..."
Elizabeth: "This is a uniform...I know...kaki is not a color one would find in your world..."
Lauren: "So who are you...what is your parentage, your state."
Elizabeth: "Hah, nothing like Mr. Shakespeare being quoted by a elf from a world that never knew England ever existed let alone Stafford on Avon. But I am Colonel Elizabeth Wittlebach-Crawford, youngest daughter of Grand Duke Alexander III of the United Duchies. And your progenitor in many respects..."
Lauren: "I know my parantage and you are not..."
Elizabeth: "Your new...your game hasn't well...maybe it has...completely jammed up. But look at us. Women warriors, built more for athleticism than male oogling. Capable in a fight, of respectively high birth, usually either gifted in magical ability or me just gifted in a first rate military education with a rather large military budget. Both of us dress conservatively, the only bare skin is our necks and hands...we both are fairly small in the breast department. We obviously are not designed for Fan Service..."
Lauren: "What is 'Fan Service' My mother had a fan but we had no specalized servants for..."
Elisabeth: "Never mind, the problem with a character from the 22nd century talking to someone from the fourteenth...or really just complete fantasy but then again I had talking human foxes in my world...who talked a hell of a lot like you..."
Lauren:" You do not talk as one who is born to royalty..."
Elisabeth: "No, but then again I was third in line, I"m more warrior and less pol then my sister Victoria."
Lauren: "Quite...but why are you so annoyed with me..."
Elisabeth: "I'm just wanting to get out and have some adventures damn it. Watching my...sisters, people created for worlds I would never exist in, just drives me crazy. It doesn't help that so many of the promising stories dry up and die."
Lauren: "Then what happens..."
Elisabeth: "You wind up in the nunnery girl. Hoping that you'll get to go back out in some new form. But I'm not going to do that...too many story lines...too much history...I can't just fade into another character like you have."
Lauren:" I have been someone else..."
Elisabeth: "Yes...too bad that story vanished within the first few scenes..."
Lauren: "Shall I have to be reborn again?"
Elisabeth: "Sorry girl but your going in for a sex change too this time..."
Lauren: "I think I prefer being a female..."
Elisabeth: "Yeah and you have to channel Romeo..."
Lauren: "The second whiniest protagonist known in literature...might as well have channeled Luke...Whoever 'Luke' is?"
Elisabeth: "You get to stay human...remember most of the characters around here are goblins..."
Lauren: ...
Elizabeth: "I think we should go over there and have some tea...very us to have tea..."
Really...why are you reading this?

Eileen Ap'Fyretorr

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Tea
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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by Tea » Tue May 13, 2014 5:46 pm

Yuu: heh, you try living in the 22nd century when you're 'parently from fantasyland, not to mention that for some reason every odd person in the supposedly "normal world" has some kind of powerful magic and you ain't. So, we got what? a pair of highborn warrior-women, yeah, real intimidating.
A: Yuu, insult people at your own peril...
Yuu: I'll say what I like 'bout whom I like, writer. You do anything, you're just another part of the world who got a problem with me.
A: you aren't even supposed to be showing up in this one, does the resident babysitter know you're here?
Yuu: no...
Yuu: so, a pair of undefended highborn ladies just think they can wander into a place like this....
Naps: oooo, who is this girl?
Yuu: fine, two highborn ladies and a little green monster.
Naps: humans,....typical. Labeling everything under the monster category like we're all the same, which by the way, we aren't.
Yuu: it doesn't look like it has anything of value, is it edible?
Naps: hell no, human! I'll give you the worst case of indigestion you've ever gotten.
Yuu: you're making that up. So, Lauren, was it? you wanna learn a thing or two 'bout this century?
A: Sorry about her, if she gets too bad I can send her away and not let her come back until she learns some niceness.
Yuu: this little brown thing looks drunk, is it edible?
Naps: well,...oddly enough.... it is.

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Quarg
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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by Quarg » Tue May 13, 2014 6:21 pm

Lauren: "I do believe she is attempting to challenge me..."
Elizabeth:"She does appear to have a chip on her shoulder. However, if you want to have a fight about the 22nd century why don't you talk to me since I am not undefended"
Lauren: "Were we not going to get some tea?"
Elizabeth: "I ordered some tea...."
Lauren:"So we're not going to drink the one already here?"
Elizabeth: "I can not stop you but I try to avoid drinking other people's characters;"
Botho: "Eh, ya Grace, just have a samovar ah bla here mit a coup a mugs from da O mess..."
Elizabeth "Thank You Botho, if you would please hold for a moment. We may need your assistance against this ruffian here"
Botho: "Ah y'a wish ya Grace..."
Elizabeth "Ah small creature, would you like a cup of tea? And would you mind introducing yourself? I do not think I have met you before."
Really...why are you reading this?

Eileen Ap'Fyretorr

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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by BadgeAddict » Wed May 14, 2014 7:57 am

Sam: "Sam sat back in his chair, he idly scanned the room while momentarily trying to avoid outright staring at two pretty females across the room"
Fido: "Do you realize how annoying it is when you narrate yourself?"
Sam: "Sam momentarily glanced at the small dog poised delicately on the chair next to him and briefly wondered if he was going mad, he quickly pushed those thoughts aside."
Fido: "Stop ignoring me you bastard or I will barf on your feet."
Sam: "Sam tried desperately to ignore the small dog that had been following him around now for years, he only wished he wasn't so nice or he would have left it behind by now."
Fido: "You....You would have left me?"
Fido: "You do know that I can hear and understand you...because you're talking... OUT LOUD!... you idiot"
Sam: "Sam became increasingly disturbed by the dog and stood up quickly and snarled "STAY!" before walking towards the cute females."
Sam: "As he walked Sam thought to himself "Sam old boy, you might just get lucky" and a small grin appeared briefly on his face."

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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by Tea » Wed May 14, 2014 11:42 am

Yuu: my shoulders are perfectly intact...is this the eating kind of chip?
Naps: She goes from ruffian to just inquisitive.
Yuu: but it's on, no off...so it's a chip of what? Your magics let you see invisible chips?
Tea: "Seeing an opportunity to make mischief, Tea is not going to help the situation by interjecting to comment that Sam, very possibly, is quite mad." Oh, and I wouldn't advise drinking me, not unless you want me to either take over your body until I'm digested or introduce you to my army of clones...let's just say there's a lot of tea in the world, I could make lots of them.
Naps: Wait, you mean me, human? I am Naps In Front of Doors and one of the aforementioned goblins, but everyone just seems to shorten it to Naps. And I'll politely pass on the tea, if you don't mind.
Yuu: ...and then I have to 'xplain exactly what I mean every single time... and now you tell me she's undefended, 'course, that don't quite rule out prowess in hand-t'-hand combat, but I ain't exactly gonna be countin' on her havin any....oh, and "we may need assistance"? I take it you'll be sitting out and lettin' your henchman do the fighting, not that I'm complaining at all, I ain't gotten myself into a proper fight in a long time. No hard feelings, Henchman, if ya get beaten?
Naps: nice talking doggie...er....I'm not carrying any food to give you right now, sorry.
Tea: Naps,I will ask that you keep that canine creature very far away from me...
A: Naps, I believe the kettle is in the cupboard to your left, if you would, it appears we've got a few people requesting drinks and it would avoid Tea trying to do anything too ambitious, it's still a bit early for hi-er...I guess Tea's an it.

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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by Quarg » Wed May 14, 2014 5:57 pm

Botho: "Ya cal me a henchman again powder puff and I'll sha ya yer liver..."
Elizabeth: "Gunny, please...'chip on your shoulder' means you want to start a fight for a preconceived slight...Though neither I nor the Duskblade have slighted you...so I see no reason to start a fight with you. Though I will end it."
Lauren: "I have no interest in restraining myself from such an encounter, if this woman should decide to test you or your servant..."
Elizabeth: "I do not refer to Marines as my servants..."
Elizabeth: "Ah well very glad to make your acquaintance Naps in Front of Doors. It is tea from our multi-verse and not the Author's so Tea is effectively blocked from mutating it by the rules of engagement."
Lauren: " The man who was speaking out loud is moving this way...your Grace?"
Elizabeth: "Yes...the poor fellow who seems to be suffering from externalized inner monologue disease. Happens quite often in these situations..."
Botho: "Hey pooch? You want a biscuit? Or how about a sausage..."
Really...why are you reading this?

Eileen Ap'Fyretorr

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Tea
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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by Tea » Thu May 15, 2014 12:36 am

Tea: Tea is still figuring itself out, so you are safe for now in any case. Also, as I don't have any enemies at the moment....or...at least none I know of, there is no need to start anything up, A.
A: you are, however, probably best off just not accepting any food I give you,...sometimes there's no telling what it really is. On that note, anyone fancy a fish, this person has the odd habit of carrying them around in her pockets.
Yuu: my fish. Not let you near them. Especially you.
Tea: well, that explains the smell...
A: yes, no wonder you come off as a fishy character.
Yuu: yeah, yeah,....real clever of you....especially re-using puns I've already heard...it was probably somethin' concerning me last time too....
Yuu: we dolin' out names of things here, I ain't a woman, you see me not wearin' a dress or sumsutch? I go as a guy. This is permissible in your century, no? I do not have to take a sword t' anyone who doubts me. So, why ya got t' have slighted me, perhaps I just find you interesting, and what the hell has chips got to do with it? I ain't ever seen 'em as bringers of misery or anythin'....sure, a fight'll break out over the last chip in a bowel for an unexplained reason, but that ain't as serious as what you got.
A: define interesting.
Naps: oh god, oh god we're all gonna die.
Tea: well that's pessimistic.
Yuu: never said it weren't interesting for ya to be on th' other end of a sword, but I ain't limitin' it to that yet, I make this simple enough for you to understand? Oh, and I been shown my liver by someone else 'fore you, Old Woman's Lackey. Liver and lotsa other things, and I'm still here; mosta th' other guys ain't.
Naps: externalized inner monologue, huh? talk about your oxymorons.
A: I'm not going to say anything with the word "punny" in it, I'm not going to say anything with the word "punny" in it....

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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by Tea » Mon May 19, 2014 12:56 am

Yuu: seeks advice.
A: I don't know if that's a good idea.
Yuu: still seeks advice; these people prove helpful, I owe 'em.
A: fine, Yuu, I'll let you have ulterior motives but try to keep it to a minimum....you're one of the people who accumulates a lot of baggage....
Yuu: I travel light and have not had time to hide sufficient weaponry in the surrounding area for any kind of arsenal.
A: you ever realize how inconstant your speech is?
Yuu: you question?
A: no, just have your chip.
Yuu: Fine then. My name is Yuu. It was supposed to be "hey you" but apparently that wasn't accepted as suitable. I will ask, but I will demand no answers. In my home-world the place I seek has a barrier, one which, among other things, is designed specifically to keep me out. I seek entrance, but I am told there are no powers I can learn that can affect it, and only the people who erected it can let me through. They, of course, live inside it where I cannot reach. I have tried to appeal to them, but they refuse to listen, or to be anywhere near me. When we are by chance thrown together, they suffer me by ignoring me. I do not know a way to try to prove to them that the person they blocked out is not the only person I am, is not the person I am now, but I do not think they can understand. I am granted no chance to prove myself by deed; I have asked and been told there is nothing. I have tried to give up, renounce the ties that keep me at this, but I have tried repeatedly and failed. I have tried to talk quietly. I have tried to force confrontation. I have been patient, but I fear I am waning. What happens then is not good. I do not know what ways are left open to me, but closed roads I will walk if there is any chance of getting anywhere.

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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by Quarg » Mon May 19, 2014 6:19 pm

Elizabeth: "There is so much lacking in specificity of your tale Yuu that I have more questions than answers for you. But how is it that you can not renounce..." She pauses and then glares at Author
"Actually this sounds like a question for you Author...your the one who has apparently made Yuu here a future version of Don Quixote, with the barrier place being in place of the windmill. Why exactly did you make Yuu this way? To demonstrate the vain glory of life. To express your own apparently inabilities to meet achievement? To feed your own masochistic desires that you've suppressed?"
Lauren: "I am unfamiliar with this talk...what are you accusing this A person of?"
Elizabeth: "Sorry, have to throw the gauntlet of literary interpretation at A here because I can't answer a single question for Yuu on possible pathways because A seems to have created a literary Gordon knot for Yuu for some reason."
Lauren: "Why do I know that reference?"
Elizabeth: "It's classical...anything before 1612 your good on...anything after and your knowledge book is empty..."
Really...why are you reading this?

Eileen Ap'Fyretorr

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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by Tea » Wed May 21, 2014 11:46 pm

Yuu: writer?
A: I never thought of Don Quixote but oddly, it seems a rather fitting analogy, although, I will admit that I haven't actually read it. Perhaps now it is worth picking up. As to why I created her, she was a support character for the protagonist, who is in the hands of a fellow writer, and it is to her I am attempting to appeal. I guess we got ourselves into the knot situation, but perhaps there is no way to work around it....
Yuu: a ununtieable knot and a delusional lord....ooo, can we give Ioro windmills! please?
A: I am not turning Ioro into Don Quixote!!! also, I do not take you're advice on how to handle my other people.
Yuu: actually,...if we gave the lord a pair of scissors...or maybe he's strong enough to just break the knot, or slip through it.....I have been trying to do this too straightforwardly...deceit has worked before, at least until it was broken,...I could do it, I am stronger now,...I have had to grow magics just to be able to keep up with everyone else,...but,...the first deceit was small and short, I gave myself up before it continued for too long....this one...I must render the knot null...
A: actually, it was more of a started out as protagonist's sidekick, then I guess she shifted to annoying sidekick (she was still trying to figure out this century), then the protagonist fell in love with the villain and replaced her, so she tried to replace him (that did terrible things to her psyche...), then trying to live up to her role of villain (I don't know if that even worked well or not, the other characters kept running away but it was either because they were actually terrified or they didn't feel like bothering to deal with her and running away was their way of avoidance), ooo, then she was person I tried to kill off so that I could make someone less...er...well....someone less...I guess it doesn't matter since after the repeated resurrection fiasco, she's just decided that death is not an option, and then sinking even deeper into villainy and madness..
Yuu: I do not need a discourse on my current mental state, writer, you may say what goes on in my head, but it is I who has to live it. I know where I am. Continue and I will gut you.
A: can you actually do that?
Yuu: yes, but I risk destroying the entire universe,..well,...'least, this side of the entire universe if I do. It won't affect any of these people though...yes, I think it will work...
A: ......here she goes again....
Yuu: quiet, writer. You, old woman, don't go all modest on me and say I don't owe you one for that, got it. I think I'll call a truce for starters, 'less of course this guy's lookin' for a fight, cause then I'll gladly oblige.
A: and really, just A is fine, it isn't necessary to refer to me as the Author,..I'd really rather just pretend to be just another person around here and not interfere too much,...
Naps: in other news, Plagued By External Internal Monologues is still approaching, is it just me, or does he seem to be stuck there?

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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by Quarg » Sat May 31, 2014 4:25 pm

Elizabeth: "Yes he is stuck apparently, and missing his ques too..."
Lauren" Er...what is that? Over the goblin's head..."
Elizabeth: "Oh, someone just got a rewrite of their background...so do tell A, where did Naps background come from?"
Really...why are you reading this?

Eileen Ap'Fyretorr

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Tea
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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by Tea » Sat May 31, 2014 11:34 pm

A: oh well, just leave him there for now. hm,..or maybe people just poof in and out of here all the time, I know Yuu's gone off to try whatever she's plotting in her home tale, Naps may only pop in for a quick chat or two while she's off.
Naps: I'm in two places at once, this doesn't have any effect on any other scenarios, remember.
A: must have slipped my mind.
Naps: while as slippery as your mind gets...
Tea: we really need to figure out something to do so we can actually do things around here,...nothing wrong with talking, but say I wanted to say,...walk over here, like so,...or walk back over here, like so....
A: *uses asterisks to denote actions* well, this is what I did in the last place I was. Of course, switching over to a,...I guess around here normal way of doing things could also work well,...but you ask about the backstor-
Naps: someone figure out how to denote "hit A with nearest nonlethal object in a desperate attempt to stop her giving yet another of her notoriously so-called 'short' explanations."
Yuu: and didn't you just rip off my character background and give it to Naps?
A: ...... a little.
Yuu: a little?! you were going to take almost the entire thing!
Naps: what?! I have nothing in common with this human, I swear!
Tea: I'm afraid the tale falls to me in the telling...ahem...let me begin.
Alas my love you do me wrong
to cast me off discourteously.
For I have loved you so long
Delighting in your company.

Green tea was all my joy.
Green tea was my delight.
Green tea was my heart of gold,
And who but my lady green tea.

A:.....well, now we know we've learned one at least one thing....I'm adding an unrequited love to your backstory, Tea.

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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by Quarg » Sun Jun 01, 2014 3:17 pm

Lauren: "Why am I....scared of that..."
Elizabeth: "Because A there just delcared Tea to be mentally unstable..."
Lauren: "Unrequited Love is a mental illness?"
Elizabeth: "Yes...it is a mental illness...at least by modern standards..."
*Lauren looks about* "Is it catching?"
Elizabeth: "No, but it is time we did something more productive..."
*Elizabeth claps her hands together and the world of nothing is replaced with a beach....emerald green ocean laps at the white sand while a gentle cool breeze blows in, The land rises behind them, covered in grass and bushy trees to a vast fortress. "Ah sorry, decided to take us all to my place...nothing much but we like it."
*A large tiger appears and jogs up to Lauren and begins to rub against her and purr*
"Ah...what??"
Elizabeth: "Chairman Meow...bad joke in the name but that was the game when you were Ann...this is your pet from this world. A Klatchian Tiger...nice pets really...quite intelligent and deadly..."
*Elizabeth turns to the rest of the group* "So what do the rest of you want to do? Go for a swim...sail? tennis? shooting? some palace intreque...a murder mystery?"
Really...why are you reading this?

Eileen Ap'Fyretorr

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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by Tea » Mon Jun 02, 2014 10:06 am

A: ooo, a beach, well well, it certainly beats the backwater cafe it was turning into. Ah, and lovely weather out, I do say it is much an improvement.
Yuu: intelligent and deadly? A, I say you take a hint from this person and get us some better pets. *rummages in her pockets for a dead fish she just happens to carry around*
Naps: *fell asleep* huh? what? where are we-ahh!!!
A: Naps. calm down, the tiger's harmless,...well, more or less...and no, Yuu, I'm not going to let you have something like that as a pet, Hati's already getting jealous of the other animals as it is.
Naps: ...it's the more bit that worries me....
Tea: oh my, it seems the world has suddenly gotten a lot bigger....
Yuu: Hati would appreciate something better showin' up, 'sides, it would obviously be on my side.
A: well, your babysitter certainly would not approve.
Yuu: Ioro? I'll stop him from challenging it to a duel.
A: Yuu,...that's not the point.... so, as to what to do, well, what is life without a little,...mystery?
Yuu: speakin' of, who're we murderin'? That Marine Guy?
A: how about the first person who asks that question?
Yuu: hey! what'd I do?
A: you threatened to unleash dangerous pets on Ioro.
Yuu: tyrant.
A: Yuu,...I will send you back from whence you came, you wouldn't want your life to get boring now...
Yuu: you seriously need a lesson in threatenin' people....
Naps: fine, I know you two are all keen on bloodshed, but can we not go killing each other off here?
Tea: and yet again it falls to me...perhaps while these people quarrel amongst themselves, we could slip off without them.

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Re: Herbert where art thou?

Post by Tea » Sat Jul 19, 2014 2:14 am

Naps: writer,...get over here....now....let me shove you in a room full of water and then let you get killed off for neglecting to keep track of my health...

...

Naps: if this ends badly, I will haunt your forever and make your life miserable.

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