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Book 5, Chapter 31: Minmax Quietly Draws His Sword

Postby Krulle » Tue Jul 26, 2016 7:58 am wrote:
Spoiler: show
Complains of Names: Look, if we can sneak past them without a fight, Kore will have to deal with them if he comes this way.
Minmax: Okay fine, whatever. I can sneak, I guess.

Complains of Names: Alright. Everyone stay down and keep quiet. I'm looking at you, Fumbles.

Complains of Names: Keep your ears down.

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Ah...
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Ah...
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Aahhh...

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Just kidding.
Minmax: Snicker
Minmax: Nice.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster


Minmax: Guys. i'm gonna quietly draw Oblivious. I want to have my sword, just in case.

Complains of Names: What?

Minmax from the past: Aaaaaaa! MinmaxyouassfaceIhateyou!
partly shaded, original scene of Pastmax shouting wrote:
Spoiler: show
BlueDemon: ^^^^^^^!

Minmax: alright, that's it. I don't like future Minmax...
SFX: Splash

Minmax: ...and I don't like past Minmax.
SFX: Splash

Minmax: I only like right now Minmax.
SFX: Splash
SFX: Tink

Complains of Names: Roll for initiative, stupid!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Minmax: Huh?

Minmax: Oh.
Minmax: Right.

SFX: Splash
SFX: Splash

SFX: Splash

SFX: Fawoomm
SFX: Clank
Complains of Names: Raaaah!
RedDemon: ^^^^^^!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
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Spoiler: show
SFX: Splash
SFX: Splash Splash

SFX: Splish

SFX: Thump
SFX: Spa-Lash

SFX: Fwumm
SFX: Spla-Clank
SFX: Thwack

Complains of Names (thinking): Huh? Did... Did this blade just suddenly gain a +1? But why would...

YellowDemon: ^^^^^^^!
SFX: Thwakk

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Ghaah!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

SFX: Clang

SFX: Clunnk
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SFX: Bwooom

SFX: Clung
SFX: Splash

Complains of Names: Gaaah!
Complains of Names: Aah!


Green Demon: ^^^^^!

Complains of Names: Nnn!
SFX: Spirk

Complains of Names: Ears?

Big Ears: No.

Big Ears: How?!
unshaded image wrote:
Spoiler: show
Green Demon: ^^^^^^^^!
Blue Demon: ^^^^^ ^^^^!
Minmax: Huh?
Minmax: What's happening?
Minmax: Why did the badguys stop fighting?
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Big Ears: This doesn't make sense! This can't be! Now the Demon deity will escape and turn this realm into a new layer of hell! Nothing we do can stop it! Everyone's going to die! And it's... it's all my fault!

Complains of Names: Ears, I need you to keep it together. You're...

Complains of Names: Ah!
Complains of Names: My legs!

Minmax: Huh? Why are Names' legs all backwards and demony now?

Big Ears: I think it's because of the broken Axe. I think the hell power radiating from it is slowly finishing your transformation into a Demon. The transformation I stopped in Brassmoon City.


Minmax: Huh? Why are they pointing at...

Minmax: Okay, that's it! I have no idea what's going on anymore!
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Book 5, Chapter 32: The Lamest, Most Confusing Room

Postby Krulle » Tue Jul 26, 2016 7:59 am wrote:
Spoiler: show
Complains of Names: Pointing at that doorway could be a trap.
Thaco: Maybe, but I doubt it. With the Axe and what's happening to you, we need to get away from this fight and figure all of this out. I say we go through the door.

Complains of Names: Ears. Fumbles. Let's go.

Minmax: This was the lamest, most confusing room ever. I'm glad to be leaving it.


Minmax: Huh?

Minmax: Aw, what the hell!
Minmax: This is exactly the same as the last room!

Complains of Names: Relax Minmax, the architecture just repeats, that's all.

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Ears, if the Axe is broken, why isn't this Demon deity coming out? I mean... Where is he?
Big Ears: You can't feel it, Vorpal? The background reality of our realm is cracking. Being corrupted from the bottom, up. Only a corner of it is infected right now, but when it's all ruined...
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Big Ears: ...the Demon will come forth.
Complains of Names: Don't worry, we'll find out why the Axe broke and deal with this Demon, somehow.
unshaded image, preview Complains' legs wrote:
Spoiler: show
Minmax: You guys need to stop worrying about a Demon that isn't even here, and focus on the trap that those monsters totally just walked us into.

Complains of Names: Minmax, I'm dealing with the end of the world right and the possibility of turning into a soulless Demon. I can't even begin to tell you how much I'm not in the mood for your stupidity right now.
SFX: Rrip

Minmax: Hey, don't get grumpy with me just because you have inbred knees.
Complains of Names: Inverted.
Minmax: Whatever.
SFX: Rrrip
SFX: Rip

Complains of Names: Look, I'm trying to keep calm, but you're making that really difficult. I let you live because you're good for Fumbles, but if you don't stop...

Minmax: Excuse me?! ""Let me live"?! Names, I've killed things that would eat you just because it didn't notice you were in its food! How `bout we throw down right now and...

Demon: ~~~~~~~~~~!

Minmax: There's more of them! I told you guys it was a trap!


Green Demon: ~~~~~~!
Complains of Names: Minmax, don't die in this battle, cause I'm killing you after this!
unshaded page, previous sketch for panel 5: Minmax looking suggestive wrote:
Spoiler: show
Brown Demon: ^^^^^^^!

Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

SFX: Bwooo.

Green Demon: ^^^^!

Big Ears: We're fighting ourselves. We've been fighting ourselves this whole time.

Big Ears: Stop!

Caption: Moments later...

Thaco: Okay, that was weird.
Minmax, Big Ears, or Complains of Names: So I guess now we go through that other door? Or should we head back to the room with the weird pillars?

Minmax, Big Ears, or Complains of Names: We can't go back the way we came, cause if Kore is on our trail, we'll run into him. Plus, we'd meet up with our past selves who will be coming from that direction. I think. Right?
Minmax, Big Ears, or Complains of Names: No, we'll meet up with our past selves if we go back through the waterfall doorway.

Minmax, Big Ears, or Complains of Names: No, we'd meet up with our future selves if we go through that doorway.
Minmax, Big Ears, or Complains of Names: No, that was our past selves we were just fighting.
Minmax, Big Ears, or Complains of Names: Yeah I know. But they're about to fight our future selves, right?

Minmax, Big Ears, or Complains of Names: No, no. They're only the future selves from the past selves´ point of view. To us, they're still our past selves. Wait, that can't be right.

Minmax, Big Ears, or Complains of Names: If we... wait. If ... Okay hang on. Let's start again. If our past selves...
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Complaines of Names: Alright, so let me get this straight. Using the Axe for good strenghtens the Demon's prison while using it for evil weakens it.
Big Ears: Yeah.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Does it lock or something? Cause y'know... Kore.
Complaines of Names: ...and it broke because you were tricked into attacking Fumbles? That's not evil. That's an accident.
Big Ears: It's a Paladin's responsibility o make certain that bringing harm to others is the correct and necessary thing to do.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Big Ears: But you're right. Just that one misjudgement shouldn't have been enough to break the Axe.
Complaines of Names: Maybe Saral Caine weakened it while he had it.
Big Ears: No, as a Paladin, when I claimed the Axe, that undid most of the damage Saral Caine had done to it. I must somehow have weakened it.

Complaines of Names: You? Are you kidding? You're the most not evil thing in the realm. I've never evr even seen you swat at a mosquito. Hell, I'm pretty sure you don't poop.

Big Ears: Maybe I... I don't know... Compromised my morals along the way? Did I do something I know is wrong?

Big Ears: ...

Big Ears (flashback): I can't attack someone from behind!

Big Ears (flashback): I...
Thaco (flashback): Ears! Now!

Big Ears: I attacked Kore from behind!
Complaines of Names: So?
Big Ears: So it's something I believe is morally wrong.

Complaines of Names: Oh come on Ears, you attacked Chief's killer!
Big Ears: I attacked a Paladin.

Big Ears: Oh Gods! I attacked a Paladin from behind! With the Axe of Prissan! And I bypassed the law preventing the Axe from harming a Paladin, by fusing a rope into his throat!
Big Ears: It's amazing that it didn't break right then!

Complaines of Names: Wait. Hang on. This is a bunch of crap. You weren't being evil, you were fighting evil!
Big Ears: That means nothing. Many villains are convinced that they're the good guys and they believe those they hurt are evil.

Complains of Names: Well if that's true and we think we're the good guys, how do we know we're not evil?

Big Ears: The good will be quick to help others in need. They do this without hesitation. Without first requiring proof that the need is genuine. But before they condemn the accused, before they bring harm to others, no matter how justified it may seem, they hesitate. They demand proof. Evil will often believe they're fighting for good. But when others are in need, they'll become reluctant, withholding compassion until they see proof of that need.
Big Ears: And yet, evil is quick to condemn, vilify and attack others. For evil, proof isn't needed to bring harm. Only a hatred and a mantra that they fight for peace and righteousness.
unshaded image, sketch preview of panel 2 and last panel, original of flashback panels and rope fused to Kore's throat

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Spoiler: show
Big Ears: I've doomed this entire realm. Why did I ever think I could do this? I don't know why I became a paladin.
Complains of Names: I do. So others don't have to.

AoP Demon (in the mind of Complains of Names): Complains of Names. They will betray you. They see you as a demon.
AoP Demon (in the mind of Complains of Names): They fear you.

AoP Demon (in the mind of Complains of Names): They lie to you. Soon they'll try to kill you. They know that as a demon, only you will survive the new Hell-Realm. They're jealous.

AoP Demon (in the mind of Complains of Names): They know your name. Once you're a full demon, they'll speak your name and control you. Kill them. Kill them all.
AoP Demon (in the mind of Complains of Names): Before it's too late.

AoP Demon (in the mind of Complains of Names): You have demon blood. This means that just touching the Axe will speed up the Sacred escape and further turn you into a demon. Take the Axe. Take the Axe and doom them all.

Complains of Names: Seriously? We're doing this now? This totally overused trope?

Thaco: What?
Complains of Names: The Axe of Prissan is doing that cliched thing where the unseen Big Bad, talks in the mind of one character and drives him insane until he kills everyone.

Big Ears: Wait, what? The Axe is talking to you? I didn't hear anything. And... You're going to kill us?
Complains of Names: No! I'm saying I'm not going to kill you!

Thaco: So out of the blue, you decided to tell us all that you're... not going to kill us, Um... Thanks?
Complains of Names: Well don't say it like that! You make me sound crazy!

Complains of Names: Am I seriously the only one here, who's familiar with this lame plot device?! Look, it's very simple! The over powered villain exploits my fears and insecurities until i snap and do something crazy and get you all killed!
Thaco: Okay, Complains, calm down. Do not do anything crazy.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Complains of Names: I'm trying to tell you that I'm not going to do anything crazy! I know what the demon in this axe is doing, because I'm aware of the trope! So it won't work on me! It can't get me to do something crazy if I know...

Complains of Names: Oops.

Minmax: Um...
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Oh crap.
Thaco: Is the cliched voice in your head now laughing at you and calling you a sucker?
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
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Book 5, Chapter 33: Chitter Chitter Unk

Postby Krulle » Wed Aug 31, 2016 2:44 am wrote:
Spoiler: show
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): What's happening?
Big Ears: Reality is slowly being burned away. Once our realm becomes the newest layer of hell, the demon deity will escape the Axe of Prissan and appear.
Minmax: You mean right now, this is happening to the whole realm?!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

SFX: Unk Chitter Chitter Chitter
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): What was that?
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

SFX: Unk Chitter Chitter Chitter

SFX: Unk Chitter Chitter Chitter
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

SFX: Unk

SFX: Chitter Chitter Chitter

Al Dente: Free.
Al Dente: I am free of the paladin's prison.

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): It's the demon deity!
Big Ears: No it isn't. The demon deity is still in the axe. I can feel it.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Complains of Names: It's a parasite. it lives on the demon deity like a flea on a wolf. I can... smell what it is.

Al Dente: I see a paladin soul, ripe for suffering and holding the second prissan. But not the paladin soul I was expecting. Where is the creator of the axe? The one we cursed?
Al Dente: Where is Kore?
unshaded image, tweet with pencilled panels 5,6, panel 7 without speech balloon wrote:
Spoiler: show
Big Ears: Kore created the Axe of Prissan?! What?!
Minmax: Roll for initiative!

Complains of Names: Wait. We might be able to get some information form it.

Big Ears: Kore couldn't have created the Axe. He kills innocents. Murders younglings. He's evil.
Al Dente: heh heh. That's why evil is winning. When two good creatures disagree, they assume the other to be evil. But two evil creatures won't assume each other to be good.

Al Dente: They just... disagree.
Big Ears: Are you saying Kore isn't evil?

Al Dente: What a pure soul you are, paladin. Almost as pure as what's trapped in the first Prissan. Give yourself to me.
Al Dente: Belong to me and I will forever relieve you of the burden of painlessness.
SFX: Chitter Chitter Chitter

Complains of Names: Flea demon. Tell me about the demon deity. The one who spoke to me through the Axe.

Al Dente: You think the sacred spoke to you? You? There are thousands of lesser demons in the second Prissan. As the prison weakens, we are spilling into this realm. One of them spoke to you.

Al Dente: The sacred will never speak to creatures as insignificant as you. You will scream for mercy as many souls in this realm will. In this way, you will speak to the sacred.
Al Dente: But he will not answer you.
SFX: Chitter Chitter
SFX: Chitter Chitter
unshaded image wrote:
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Al Dente: Give me your soul, Paladin. I must have it.
Big Ears: You keep asking for that. Why would I even do that?

Al Dente: Do you know why Paladin souls are worth so much more than most others? Because they suffer so deeply. Their empathy. Their tendency to take on guilt. It's delicious. And you... the Paladin who released the sacred into this realm. You will be worth more than all other souls. You will be sought after by waves of Demons. And unlike a lesser Demon like myself, some of them won't require you to willingly give up your soul. They will rip it from you.

Complains of Names: You called the Axe "the Second Prissan". There are two of them?
Al Dente: There are three. This Axe is a weaker imitation of the Hammer of Prissan. A weapon designed to imprison good and be wielded by pure evil. The third imprisons the damned.

Thaco: If the sacred is so much more powerful than you, why is it that you can escape the Axe and he can't?
Al Dente: The more powerful a Demon is, the harder it is for it to enter a new realm.
Thaco: Heavier things need stronger bridges to cross.
Al Dente: Exactly.

Al Dente: I know you ask these questions because you hope to learn something that will help you stop the sacred. But none of this will help you. The sacred is a deity and you are nothing but tiny mortals. You are our food and our currency. Not our adversaries.
Big Ears: Wait. Hang on... No.

Big Ears: If the sacred is too powerful to cross realms, how did he get here in the first place? And if this realm has to be a hell before he can step foot in it, why wasn't it turned into a hell when he was here fighting the Grehill Paladins a thousand years ago? And how did you curse Kore for making the Axe, if you were entrapped in it?

Big Ears: You didn't curse Kore because he created the Axe. He created the Axe because you cursed him. And the Greyhill Battle didn't happen in our realm. It happened in hell. The sacred has never been in our realm! And the Axe isn't a prison at all! It's a delivery system! You let Kore return to our realm with the Axe, knowing that it would one day break, allowing the sacred to step into our realm.

Big Ears: But that means... I didn't fail! I didn't break the Axe! It would have broken anyway! It attracts Paladins not to strengthen the prison, but to ensure that "food" will be nearby when the sacred emerges. I... I'm not unworthy!

Big Ears: You're right, Flea Demon. I am indeed a valuable soul. I am this realm's protector and I swear that I will personally carry this Axe back to the depths of hell before he can escape it.

Al Dente: You insult the sacred with your words! He will rip off your skin and replace it with your childhood nightmares! He will scream your name in a language so old, that...
Big Ears: Yes. He will.

Big Ears: He will scream my name. In this way he will speak to me.

Big Ears: But I will not answer him.
pencil version, unshaded image, eleven years buildup to this page wrote:
Spoiler: show

Al Dente: Give me that axe, paladin!

SFX: Shunk

SFX: Crack

Al Dente: How dare...
SFX: Thok

SFX: Claa-Thak-A

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Ears, you're not really planning to go down to hell, are you?
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): How would you even do that?
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Big Ears?
unshaded image; a hidden message has been seen by some in the forum: Hi, I'm Thunt wrote:
Spoiler: show
Big Ears: Look, I'm not stupid, Complains. I know it's not exactly easy to get to hell. But I hit level 5 back there with that Flea Demon. So if I can just get down there, I should be powerful enough to...
Complains of Names: Level 5? Big Ears, hell is an extremely high level area. You could be level 15 and you still wouldn't last two rounds. I saw the place, remember?

Hitpoints Complains of Names (flashback): I saw it.
Big Ears (flashback): Keep still. I need to bind your wounds before your hit points reach -10.
Complains of Names (flashback): I saw hell. That demon head from the Shield of Wonder was changing me into a demon and I saw hell!
Hitpoints Complains of Names (flashback): -5

Complains of Names (flashback): I felt hell tear off a piece of my soul like a dagger through a spider web. Big Ears...
Complains of Names (flashback): I'm not sure if I'm a Goblin anymore.
Hitpoints Complains of Names (flashback): -6

Big Ears: So we just give up and let the sacred destroy this realm?
Complains of Names: No, of course not. But you're trying to move a boulder out of the way by bashing your head into it. Here, let me show you how impossible this will be.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Complains of Names: Let's pretend that you do happen upon a pit to hell. Gee, what luck, right? Well first of all, you can't just throw the Axe down there, because the layer of hell closest to us is actually purgatory and a demon as powerful as the sacred, could punch into our realm from there, like a bear punching through a bee hive.

Big Ears: Complains, I already know this. I have to travel down through each layer of hell until I reach one deep enough to hold the sacred.
Complains of Names: Right. But even making it down to purgatory is a long drop. How are you going to get down there? Jump? Nothing could survive that fall without some sort of magical assistance.

Complains of Names: But let's pretend that you do have magical assistance and you're immune to falling damage. You're still instantly dead. Because you'd be cooked alive.
Big Ears: I would? It's seriously that hot down there?

Complains of Names: Yup. Magic in our realm is a dormant energy. It basically sits in the air, doing nothing until we use spells or items to filter it through ourselves. This is why it takes on an Individual Magical Effect. The creature's soul, desires, fears and experiences all give the magic a unique, appearance when it activates. To the skilled, it's a malleable and precise tool.

Complains of Names: But hell magic isn't like that. It's never dormant and it replicates itself so fast that it burn's itself up, creating lakes of fire and nightmarish creatures. It's more powerful than our amgic, but it's explosive, chaotic and difficult to control.

Big Ears: You learned all that in one, quick glimpse of hell? That's convenient.
Complains of Names: But even if you were somehow immune to hellfire, you're still screwed. Every demon near you is gonna smell that paladin soul and come running. There will be thousands of them. And you won't have anything to keep them away.

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Yes he will.

Complains of Names: The hell is that?
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): It's Senor Vorpal Kickass'o.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Minmax: Ba-Doosh!
SFX: Thud

Minmax: And Minmax!
Minmax: Also, I have a crown of plus a scwillion charisma.
unshaded image, shaded without "cracked reality lines"; original of panels 2, 3; some tweets with details and rants about how much work Thunt made out of these panels: 1, 2, 3, 4 wrote:
Spoiler: show
Thaco: I don't know. Maybe we could pray to the Goblin God for help. We're talking about the end of our world, so he might actually answer us.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): MVWCOF

Complains of Names: No, he only answers Goblin chiefs and we... Well we don't have a chief.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Oh no! Maxo! Look out!
Minmax: What is it, Kickaxo?
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Something!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): DEFEREATO

Minmax: Don't worry, little buddy. I can summon my sword, Oblivious.
Thaco: What if... I mean... We could do the chiefing ceremony and one of us could become the new chief.

Thaco: Only a fortune teller can appoint a new chief, and our teller isn't here.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): MYORTH

Minmax: Hey! Wait, you can do that?
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): I dunno. I guess?
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): MFEARK

Minmax: Okay, then I'm putting on my crown of plus a scwillion charisma.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): I told you! You don't have that!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): MESSIZR

Minmax: Well if you get a copy of Oblivious, I get my crown!
Complains of Names: Hey. Stop playing with those toys before I take them away!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): MHKWD

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Then I'm exploding your face with my dace exploding magic! Pew Pew!
Complains of Names: Both of you! Shut up!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monst..

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Complains, why don't we do the teller ceremony, make one of us a teller, and then that Goblin can make one of us a chief? Also, whoever becomes the teller, will be able to see into the future and do other cool, magic stuff.
Minmax: Swish! Minmax awaaayy! Screw you, Kickaxoooooo!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster


Complains of Names: Yeah, why don't we do that?
uncoloured image; shaded image without the glow around Oblivious; panel 3: speech balloon moved from Big Ears to Thaco; panel 7: text amended to clarify that Minmax and Fumbles are playing; regarding Fumbles' forehead: the letters in panels 1-7 have no meaning, as Minmax takes the lead in pretend-play, and he cannot read. wrote:
Spoiler: show
Big Ears: Okay, so who's gonna be the new chief, and who's gonna be the new teller?
Complains of Names: Well Thaco should be the chief. After all, he was the GobGod's choice, originally.

Big Ears: And what does that mean?
Complains of Names: Oh, "GobGod" is just a quicker way to say Goblin God.
Big Ears: No, not that. Thaco wasn't chose as chief, Chief was. He was the son of Kills a Werebear, the greatest chief we ever had. He was the obvious chocie.

Complains of Names: Ears, the Teller had a vision, showing that making Thaco chief would divide the clan between those who want Thaco as chief, and those who want the son of our present chief. The divide would have eventually destroyed our clan. So she named the newly born youngling, Chief and declared him to be our divinely chosen leader.
Big Ears: So... Chief was never meant to lead us? The whole thing was a lie?

Complains of Names: Chief leading us, saved our clan.
Minmax: Uh... hey, you guys? There's a big, green, glowy wall over there.
Big Ears: No, a lie saved our clan!

Complains of Names: Okay fine! A lie saved our clan! Is that so bad?
Big Ears: No. It's just great! We might as well change our name from Clan of the Cryptic Fall, to Clan of the Big Fat Lie!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): So... Should we touch the wall? Complains? Thaco? Should we touch it? I think we should touch it.

Complains of Names: Whatever. I'm just saying that Thaco should be our new chief.
Thaco: Nope. I'm to old for now. Goblins live for about thirty winters and I'm twenty six winters old. I think we should follow by bloodline and make Complains the new chief.
Minmax: I'm gonna throw Lil-Minmax at it.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Oh, good idea.

Complains of Names: Me? no, I can't. I broke our traditions, back at the warcamp and got labeled an "Empty Goblin", remember? I'm forbidden from holding a position of power.
Thaco: Okay, but I actually think that Chief was asking you to replace him.
Complains of Names: What? He never asked me that.

Thaco: Every monster chief has a mark of leadership over their right eye. I saw the way that Chief marked you.

Complains of Names: Come on, Thaco, that... wasn't a mark, it was.... His hand was bloody, that's all it was.

Thaco: And what if you're wrong, Complains.

Thaco: What if asking you to lead us, was the last thing he ever did?

original of panels 8,9, "Empty Goblin" wrote:
Spoiler: show
Thaco: Be careful, not to touch these beams of light. They're probably trapped. And stay on this carpet. It's the same green as that huge door, so I bet that's a clue, meaning that the carpet is safe.
Minmax: Ha ha
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Hee hee

Thaco: Hey, I think there are coloured shapes appearing on the wall, here. They look almost like weapons and armour.
Big Ears: Well nothing is happening over on this side. What do you think it means?
Complains of Names: Sigh.
Complains of Names: "Let's make Complains our leader!"
Complains of Names: "Yeah!"
Complains of Names: "But let's not listen to anything he says!"
Complains of Names: "Great idea!"

Thaco: Yes not chief, yet.



SFX: Clunk
SFX: Clunk



Thaco: Interesting.

Minmax: Loot! Magic loot!
Minmax: I call dibs!

Thaco: Minmax, what are you doing?
Minmax: I told you Taco, I called dibs!


Minmax: Huh?

Minmax: Aww.
Thaco: Who is Dibs?
sketch of panel 12 wrote:
Spoiler: show
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Look, the thingys are re-appearing in the wall. I don't get it. What's the point of this?
Minmax: There is no point. It's just stupid. Stupid and cruel. And then stupid again.

Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Complains of Names: Fumbles, don't mess with the magic wall. For once, I agree with Minmax. It's stupid and has no point.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Kay, I'll put it back.

Complains of Names: Hey! Watch it!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): .onster

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Oh wow! My hand is poking out the other side! How come Thaco's hand didn't poke out over there?

Complains of Names: It's turned solid.
Big Ears: Maybe this is how we're supposed to get the items?

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Hey! Give it back, Complains!

Information: The Axehole
Information: A +3 axe that the wielder can mentally command to clamp down on anything it surrounds.

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Neato. It looks like we'll be able to get every item in the wall, as well as a complete description of what it is.


Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Maxo, are... are you crying?
Minmax: No. (sniff Shut up.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): .onst..
First page of the new colourist Cheyenne wrote:
Spoiler: show

Thaco: Can you grab it?

Information: The Droolsword
Information: A +2 short sword that provides the owner with an unlimited supply of "water".

Complains of Names: It works. Let's handle this slow and smart. I don't want...

Minmax: Grab them all! Make all the loots be grabbed!
Minmax: Maxo...
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): ...Kickaxo!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Information: The Leafwand
Information: This wand allows a druid to will an arbutus tree to instantly grow from any non living surface. The height of the tree is equal to the druid's level, in feet.
Information: Scream Regret
Information: This +8 hook (treated as a pike in combat) causes any creature killed by it to re-form from the dead, one month later as an extremely over-powered wight, with an obsession to kill its murderer.
Complains of Names: Slow down!
Complains of Names: Hey! I said slow down!
Information: The Gimme Coin
Information: Similar to a bag of holding, this coin absorbs any coins that touch it. All absorbed coins can be easily shaken out at will.

Information: The Ring of Objective Empathy
Information: This ring grants the wearer +3 to intelligence, but also causes them to feel a deep sense of compassion for inanimate objects as though they were living things.
Information: The Amu-Let's Talk
Information: This amulet grants the wearer a +2 combat bonus against anyone they've conversed with for at least one, uninterrupted minute.
Complains of Names: You're going too fast!
Information: The Crit Window
Information: This staff predicts whether the next crit in the party will be a success or failure. A 1 means a critical fumble while a 20 means it will be a critical success.
Information: The Pain Cloak
Information: This cloak protects the wearer from all non-magical damage but causes them constant, immeasurable, physical pain. Although the pain doesn't do damage, it will likely drive the wearer mad, if worn for long enough.
Information: The Echo Glove
Information: If the wearer of the glove points at a creature who speaks their language, that creature is cursed. For the next hour, they can only say the last word the wearer said before pointing.
Complains of Names: Will you stop for one second?!

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Is that all of them?
Minmax: I think s... No wait. There's one teeny-tiny one up there.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Minmax: I almost didn't notice this little guy.

The Crit Window: 1

Information: The LOL Pearl
Information: This pearl is about to explode. The explosion will do enough damage to kill anyone in this room and shine beams of magical light that will destroy every item that's been pulled from the wall. LOL. wrote:
Spoiler: show
Complains of Names: Everyone scatter! Get away!

Thaco: Throw it!
Complains of Names: I can't! It's stuck to my fingers! It won't come off!

Complains of Names: Ears! What are you...

Complains of Names: Aaah!


SFX: Kaa-Boom

Hitpoints Thaco: -2
Hitpoints Big Ears: -7
previous image lacking "hellstrands" and wrong colour of Complains' blood wrote:
Spoiler: show
Idle: It seems so sad that we gotta kill him. I know that his power is going to grow and he's gonna destroy the world, blah blah blah. But it's not his fault that he became a warped-klik.

Ward the sword: We're not killing him. Infected kliks don't really die. If we were born warped, we can die, but infected kliks just kinda turn into a sand-like powder. Tell them, hairy-flabby.
Forgath: Huh?

Forgath: But... I don't know anything about this... klik... you know... all this klik stuff.
Ward the sword: I know. I just wanted to make you look stupid.

Ward the sword: Anyway, we take that sand and "cure" him. He heals up, good as new and no longer infected. See, when our species was new, we tried to alter ourselves, so we couldn't die. We failed and now we have warped-kliks.

Ward the sword: And since you're partly made of klik material now, you can be infected just like any other klik. So don't let him claw or bite you.
Forgath: Wait what?!

Idle: Hey, check this out. These pebbles are floating and sticking out of this little fiery pit.
Idle: What the heck is this?

Bowst: Well whatever is it, we need to ignore it. We're on an important quest to find the warped-klik.

Forgath: What the hell is going on here?

previous page with spelling error wrote:
Spoiler: show
Idle: Yuck! It smells awful!
Forgath: What you're smelling is brimstone. Something that isn't native to this area.

Forgath: And these rocks... they're sick.
Bowst: Rocks don't get sick, dumbass.

Idle: So do you think these are all pits to hell? I mean, gates to hell are supposed to be rare, aren't they?
Forgath: I don't know, but look at that sky. Something big is happening.

Forgath: ...
Forgath: Heh. It's gotta be Minmax. I betcha he found some ring of wishes and badly worded a wish or something.

Forgath: I miss him. I want my Minmax.

Bowst: Pfft. That guy's a loser. You're with Bowst now, little buddy.

Bowst: Don't worry about a thing. I got yer back, Forgath.
SFX: Thwup


Bowst: Uh... Starting now. wrote:
Spoiler: show
Complains of Names: Uhh
Hitpoints Complains of Names: -6

Complains of Names: Coff
Complains of Names: Coff
Hitpoints Complains of Names: -5

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Hurry up, Maxo! Bind his wounds before he gets to -10!
Minmax: I'm trying! Taco's blindfold won't rip!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): That's cause it's magic!
Complains of Names: Nnnn
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Hitpoints Big Ears: -9
Hitpoints Complains of Names: -4
Hitpoints Thaco: -3

Minmax: Oh yeah.
SFX: Rrriip
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Hitpoints Thaco: -4
Hitpoints Complains of Names: -3

Minmax: Big Yellow, are... are you still alive? I think I stabilized you. Say something.
Hitpoints Big Ears: -9
Hitpoints Complains of Names: -2

Big Ears: Everything tastes like ouch.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Thaco's stabilized. Complains, are you okay?
Hitpoints Big Ears: -9
Hitpoints Complains of Names: -1

Complains of Names: Touching the axe progressed my demon transformation, which I guess healed me somewhat.
Minmax: Paladins have healing magic, right?
Hitpoints Big Ears: -9

Big Ears: A bit, yes. But I can't cast anything while I'm in negative hit points.
Hitpoints Big Ears: -9

Thaco: The teller ceremony.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): .ster
Hitpoints Big Ears: -9

Thaco: Fortune tellers get access to low level cleric spells, so we do the ceremony, make me a teller, and then I heal Ears.
Hitpoints Thaco: -4

Complains of Names: But you'd still be in negative hit points. You wouldn't be able to heal anyone.

Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Hitpoints Big Ears: -9

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): What.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Hitpoints Big Ears: -9 wrote:
Spoiler: show
Thaco: No. Fumbles can't be a teller, c'mon.
Hitpoints Thaco: -4

Complains of Names: Why not?
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Yeah, why not?
Minmax: So uh... Nobody wants to say anything about this? Names is getting uglier.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Thaco: Look, a teller doesn't just cast spells and get random visions of the future. Y'see, while a chief leads, a teller has to guide without using leadership. A teller understands the inner minds of each Goblin in his clan and can us that knowledge to direct them. Help them. Show them how they can improve themselves and in turn, the clan.
Hitpoints Thaco: -4

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Don't worry Thaco, I can do all that. I'm Senor Vorpal Kickass'o! I can do anything!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Thaco: Sigh. No. You can't. Look, I love ya, but becoming a teller can't be undone. And you're... well you know...
Thaco: Goofy.
Hitpoints Thaco: -4

Fumbles: Oh.
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

Fumbles: Kay.
Forehead Fumbles: Monste.

Thaco: Fumbles. Wait. I didn't mean...

Thaco: Aw, hey. I... I'm sorry. Look, I...
Hitpoints Thaco: -4

Thaco: Dammit. I gotta stop being so tactless and grumpy toward the younger Goblins. It's not helping anything.
Hitpoints Thaco: -4

Fumbles: Aha! Gotcha! See? I can do all of that inner mind stiff! I can guide you! I could so totally be a kickass teller!
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

Thaco: How did he... Well I'll be damned. Is it possible that all this time, he's actually been hiding a really high wisdom stat?
Complains of Names: You're asking this about a Goblin whos making super-hero victory poses.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Senooorrr Vorpal Kickass'ooooo!
Hitpoints Thaco: -4
A sketch of Complains last image stance wrote:
Spoiler: show
Minmax: Hey guys! Some of the loot survived the explosion! That is the biggest relief ever!

Minmax: I mean... It's the second biggest relief.
Minmax: Cause you guys are alive.
Minmax: So...
Minmax: Um...

Minmax: Sigh. Y'know? Whatever. Glare at me all you want. Loot kicks ass.

Minmax: So this magic axe obviously won't go to you, Big Yellow.
Big Ears: Why?
Minmax: Because you broke your last magic axe and ended the world, dooming all living things.
Minmax: So now you get a time out from magic axes and warning.

Minmax: So according to the wall, I think that's an enchanted shield with an armour class bonus and those are bracers that turn into armour.
SFX: Tap Tap
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

SFX: Shuck Shuck Shuck
Minmax: I said arm armour!
SFX: Shwomph
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

Minmax: This is a "Ring of Holding"? I don't get how it's supposed to...

Minmax: Oh.
Minmax: Oh!
Minmax: Cool!

Fumbles: It stretches out into its own room?
Minmax: yeah, a portable closet! This'll come in so handy!
page without hellstrands and negative hitpoints for Big Ears and Thaco wrote:
Spoiler: show
Minmax: Kickaxo, you should go in there. Get inside the ring room.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): No way. You'll close it while I'm inside.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Minmax: I totally won't.

Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Mons...

Minmax: I probably totally won't.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Mon...

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Fine, I'll check it out. But don't...

Minmax: Snicker

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Maxo, you jerk! Lemme out! This room could be the closet of some scary Human castle!
Complains of Names: Actually, it's probably a pocket dimension. That room is probably
Complains of Names: that whole universe. But seriously, let him out. We have to set up for the teller ceremony.

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Wait. So I'm the only one in this universe? I'm like... The King Of The Universe!
Minmax: Awww? I wanna be the King of the universe.

Minmax: Are you holding the ring shut!? Come on! Lemme in!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): No.
Minmax: Stop hugging the universe!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): No!

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): The Vorpal Kickass'o Universal Department of Immigration is now voting to see if you shall be allowed in.
Minmax: And?

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): You can't come in.
Minmax: Lemme in!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): There's nothing I can do! It was unanimous!

Minmax: Fine! I'll just wear the ring and you cans stay in there forev...

Minmax: Ow!

Minmax: You bit me!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): The Vorpal Kickass'o Universal Department of Defense is very effective.
sketch for panels 1,2 wrote:
Spoiler: show
Complains of Names: Ears, this is the pain cloak. It basically blocks all damage, but it hurts the wearer. So we can't really wear it, but maybe we can wrap it around the Axe of Prissan.
Big Ears: Oh. Yeah, good idea.
Hitpoints Big Ears: -9

Complains of Names: Listen up, everyone. I think we should hold the teller ceremony in front of the giant door, here. We want good visibility and we want it up against a wall. With the exception of the Human, we all know how dangerous this is.

Complains of Names: I guess we could hold the ceremony in one of these corners, but...
Wall of Knowledge: The Tumbleblade
Wall of Knowledge: Each time the wielder performs a successful tumble check during combat, This blade gains a +1 bonus for the duration of that combat. this bonus can stack up to a total of +12.

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Whoa! The wall identifies other items too?!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Maybe the wall will tell me if whatever's in this bottle, can heal Thaco and Big Ears.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Complains of Names: I had no idea that this short sword was so powerful.
Wall of Knowledge: Item Enchanter: Leviate
Wall of Knowledge: This single use potion can permanently enchant an item, causing that item to grant limited bursts of `levitation´ to any individual in contact with it. This potion is meant to be poured onto a wearable item like a rind, so that it can be easily kept in contact with the individual. While levitating, the enchanted item will ignite into magical flames that don't radiate any heat.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Hmmm.

Minmax: So what's dangerous about this ceremony? Don't they just give you a title or pin a badge on you or something?
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Oh no. It's really dangerous. See the more energy I absorb, the more powerful I am, but the greater the chance that the energy will destroy me as I merge with it. Goblins die during the ceremony all the time.


Minmax: How have you creatures not been wiped out?
sneak peek of panel 1, some info regarding the last panel: 1, 2, 3 (referring to page of 22 Dec. 2006) wrote:
Spoiler: show
Minmax: Hey. Hey Names, don't do some ceremony that can kill Kickaxo.
Complains of Names: Every teller that has died since the creation of our clan, has left an imprint. A weaker copy of the power they wielded.

Complains of Names: Once the ceremony starts, each past teller's imprint will appear, one by one. If Fumbles embraces that power when only one imprint is present, he's pretty much guaranteed to survive, but he'll be a very weak teller with almost no ability to see into the future or cast spells. Most Goblins aim for two imprints. Still a very good chance of surviving and the level of power is good enough to help the clan, somewhat. So don't worry about Fumbles, we know what we're doing.

Fumbles: I'm gonna aim for six imprints!
Big Ears: No you're not, Vorpal. No one has ever survived more than four imprints.
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

Fumbles: Nuh uh, legends say that a Goblin called Awkward Silence, once became teller by embracing six imprints!
Big Ears: That's a myth, Vorpal. I want you aiming for one, maybe two imprints.
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

Minmax: Y'see?
Minmax: He's gonna get himself killed.

Minmax: Look, you may not care if he lives or dies, but I do, and...

SFX: C-Shing

Complains of Names: How dare you take the moral high ground with this! You walked into my home and slaughtered my clanmates!
Complains of Names: Pretending to care about one Goblin doesn't erase your crimes, Human!

Minmax: you think I'm pretending to care about Kickaxo?!
Complains of Names: I know you are! Humans don't feel friendship, they only use others. You used Kin and Forgath and now you're using...

Minmax: Raaaahh!

SFX: Grompp
sketch of Fumbles in panel 3 wrote:
Spoiler: show
SFX: Thwop

SFX: Clangk


SFX: Shink
SFX: Fwumm

SFX: Clang


Fumbles: Oh, would you two just. Stop. Maxo, you're not comfortable with how we do the Teller ceremony? It's how Goblins are. Deal with it. I'm not comfortable with how you Humans have the same number of fingers as you do, toes. It creeps me out, but I deal with it.
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

Fumbles: And Complains. You're going to be our chief. Start acting like it. Maxo's girlfriend and bestest buddy both dies and you tell him that he was using them?! What do you expect him to do after that, cook you Sweet Beetles?
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

Minmax: Actually, Kin didn't die, she just dumped me.
Fumbles: You're not helping.
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

This board requires you to be registered and logged-in to view hidden content. wrote:
Spoiler: show
Caption: Later...
Fumbles: Aw c'monnn. Don't make me spend the rest of my life as a `One imprint teller´. I can so totally handle at least two imprints.
Big Ears: I'm sure you can, Vorpal. But these imprints don't arrive on an even rhythm. It's all random. You might aim for two and hit three. Three imprints would most likely kill you.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Lifepoints Big Ears: -9
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

Minmax: I don't get how this whole imprint thing works. He has to fight them? Hug them? What's the deal?
Complains of Names (magic): Great Goblin God. We, the clan of the Cryptic Fall, ask you to release the power of our past fortune tellers so that...

Thaco: Not exactly. He has to kind of... embrace them.
Minmax: That's what a hug is, Taco.
Big Ears: Well it's more like... embrace them in a battle, kind of.
Minmax: That's what fighting is, Big Yellow.
Big Ears: "Big Yellow" is not my name, Minmax. Please call me by my actual name.
Minmax: Oh. Sorry, Yellow Ears.
Complains of Names (magic): too small to be read, and not intended to be read by the readers. to the Goblin God.
Lifepoints Big Ears: -9
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

Complains of Names (magic): ... and we understand that once you start the ceremony, it will not end until a Goblin either becomes our new teller or dies trying.

Complains of Names (magic): So... start. Or make it go or whatever. Begin.

Thaco: Oh that was graceful, Complains. Our god was very moved by that ending.
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

Minmax (?): Look!


Big Ears: Okay Vorpal, It's started.
Fumbles: I know.
SFX: Chitter

Big Ears: You have to focus. Time this just right.
SFX: Chitter
Fumbles: I know! Let me concentrate!
SFX: Chitter

Complains of Names: Flea demon!
SFX: Chitter

SFX: Crumble
Al Dentitsta: Sssoouuls!
Text of CoN in panel 3: (link) wrote:
Spoiler: show
Al Dentista: I told you I could smell a prayer.
Al Dentista: Only souls pray.

Thaco: Fumbles!
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

Thaco: Fumbles, the ceremony!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Thaco: Now! You have to finish it now!
Forehead Fumbles: Monster
Thaco's negative lifepoints are missing in comic: 1, 2 wrote:
Spoiler: show
Al Dentista: Give me your soul or I will tear you apart.
SFX: Chuk
SFX: Chuk
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

SFX: K-Kitt Ka-Kitt
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

Fumbles: Don't worry, Thaco! I gotcha!
SFX: Sclatter
Forehead Fumbles: Monster
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

SFX: Whoo Whoo Whoo
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

SFX: Ca-Sclatter
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

Al Dentista: Two souls. Good.
Thaco: Hey! Get your damn...
Thaco: Fumbles!
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

Thaco: Look! There's already two imprints! If you don't finish the ceremony now, you're dead for sure!
Fumbles. I won't let you die!
Forehead Fumbles: Monster
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

Fumbles: Ya got that, Flea Demon?
SFX: Fwaome

Fumbles: Leave him alone.
sketched page, Fumbles bad-ass stance, sketched; drawing of hand info tidbit regarding panel 8; panel 2 introduces the Mite Demon

This board requires you to be registered and logged-in to view hidden content. wrote:
Spoiler: show
SFX: Fwumm
SFX: Crack



SFX: Criick
Flea Demon: Aah!



Minmax: Raaaaaah!
Complains of Names: Rrraaaah!
SFX: Fwoom
SFX: Fwoom
SFX: Fwoom
SFX: Fwoom
sketch of panel 3 wrote:
Spoiler: show
SFX: Clok

SFC: Thwumph


Complains of Names: Raaaahhh!
Al Dentista: Aaah!

Al Dentista: How dare you! I'll see you rot in...

Minmax: Aaaaaahh!

SFX: Craack

Thaco: Fumbles!
Fumbles: I see it, Thaco! What do I do?!
Thaco: I... I don't know!
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

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Comic of 17 July 2017 wrote:
Spoiler: show
Big Ears: Run!
Lifepoints Big Ears: -9

Big Ears: Vorpal! You have to run!
Lifepoints Big Ears: -9

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): But the imprints won't stop until they get ahold of a Goblin!
Minmax: Raaah!
Forehead Fumbles: Monster



Minmax: Nothing's happening.

Complains of Names: That's because you're not a Goblin, you're an idiot!

Thaco: Go. Get away from here.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): But...
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

Thaco: Do as I say!
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

Forehead Fumbles: Monster wrote:
Spoiler: show
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Huff
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Huff
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Information: The Staff of Notangle
Information: This staff will destroy any magical bindings, thereby freeing the wielder. It has no effect on non-magical bindings, such as standard rope, etc.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Flashback: -

Flashback: -

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): The tangled bits.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): This could work.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): This has to work.

Lifepoints Thaco: -4

Lifepoints Thaco: -4

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Senor...
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Vorpal...

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Kickassoooo!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

SFX: Bzzzwahhfff

SFX: Bzzzzzzzzz
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): No!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): It's not working!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster

SFX: uhuhbwwwbwwahw
Thaco: Fumbles!
Lifepoints Thaco: -4

Bumbles (screaming): ahwaawaaaaaaaaahh!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
image of page; original of flashback panels; sketch of panel 15 wrote:
Spoiler: show
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!
Minmax: He's dying! Do something!
Complains of Names: There's nothing we can do! Any Goblin who gets near him, will die along with him!

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Aaaaaaaahhh!

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Aaaaaaaaaaaauuuuhhhhh!
Minmax: Well I'm not a Goblin.

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Aaaaaauuhhhh!

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Aaahhhhh!


Minmax: Ah!
SFX: Thump
SFX: Thack

SFX: Thwup

Minmax: Kickaxo?

Minmax: Buddy?
image wrote:
Spoiler: show
Fumbles (magic): Bowstrings breaktheyare unreliabletheshining forestisfoundonly throughheroismthe Dwarfcriesno more

Minmax: What's wrong with him? What's he saying?
Fumbles (magic): Theearswill notheartheywantthe bookbuttheyneedto complain
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

Fumbles (magic): Themountis backwardsitisdisplacedthe levelsaregainedoutside oftime
Complains of Names: Fumbles?
Fumbles (magic): Shesawbut misunderstood thenameisnot right
Complains of Names: Fumbles!
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

Complains of Names: I'm pretty sure he just absorbed fifteen imprints. No Goblin has done anywhere near that many. This is far too much power for him.
Fumbles (magic): Deathof aGoblindeatof aGod
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

Complains of Names: I think he's in foreshadowing overload.
Fumbles (magic): Thehammerawaits
Forehead Fumbles: ...ster

Minmax: Kickaxo?
Fumbles (magic): Twocoinsfor adeadDwarfanother leglost
Forehead Fumbles: Mon...

Minmax: Snap out of it!
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

Forehead Fumbles: Mon...

Fumbles (magic): When the serpent becomes his prey
Fumbles (magic): friends become enemies.
Forehead Fumbles: Mon...

Fumbles: Oh Maxo.
Fumbles: I'm so sorry.
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

image wrote:
Spoiler: show
Bowst: This slimy mud smells so bad. This is mud, right?
Forgath: Gods, I hope so.

Idle: Ew
Idle: Ew
Idle: Ew

SFX: Splorp

Idle: Alright that does it! This mountain is clearly turning into some kind of nightmare place and it's getting worse! How long are we going to just ignore it?!

Ward the sword: Look, we got bigger problems because of this hairy moron.
Ward the sword: A Klik has become warped and if it's left alone tofeed, it'll eventually become powerful enough to do serious damage to the whole realm!

Forgath: Hey, this isn't my fault! Your species is super volatile! Even after I stop this warped Klik, it's only a matter of time until this happens again! What I should be doing, is leaving you to fix this while I go find Minmax!

Forgath: In fact...

Forgath: This can't be the first time that this has happened. How many times has this realm been `almost´ destroyed by a warped Klik?


Ward the sword: Forty eight.

Forgath: Forty eight?!
Ward the sword: That's over thousands of years!
image wrote:
Spoiler: show
Bowst: Stop yelling, ya pukes! You're gonna attract badguys!

Ward, the Sword: You're yelling too.
SFX: Klik

Forgath: yeah, and louder than us.
SFX: Klik Klik

Bowst: Sa'badguy!

Forgath: Where's Idle!
Bowst:Something pulled her under the mud!
SFX: Klik Klik

Idle: gasp!
Idle: coff coff
Idle:You giys! help!

SFX: Klik

SFX: Klik Klik

SFX: Klik


SFX: Klik Klik Klik
Ward: Nnnn!

image wrote:
Spoiler: show

SFX: Shunk
SFX: Splooorrk

Idle: Coff
Idle: Coff
Forgath: Idle! You okay?

Idle: Yeah, I'm okay.
Bowst: Sonuva crap.

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Book 5, Chapter 34: Level 4 magic

Postby Krulle » Mon Nov 13, 2017 1:24 am

New post, as phpBB board complained about post getting too large. Still waiting for official chapter separations.... wrote:
Spoiler: show
Bowst: Forgath! We could use some of that level 4 cleric magic!
Forgath: You got it, Bowst!

Forgath: Herbert!
Forgath (magic): Summon Monster: 1!
SFX: Fwoom

Forgath: Suck badger!

Badger: Grwaaar!

SFX: Plorp

Bowst: A badger?! Are you kidding me?!

Bowst: Aw, dammit.
image wrote:
Spoiler: show
Idle or Forgath: Bowst!

SFX: Chinng
Bowst: Hah!

Bowst: Help!


The Mould Monster: Rrraaaa!

The Mould Monster: Raa?

Badger: Nung! Nung! Nung!

Bowst: Idle!
The Mould Monster: Rrraaaoooooorrrrr!
Badger: Nung! Nung!
image, comparison of unfinished, sketched page, and finalized page twitter

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This board requires you to be registered and logged-in to view hidden content. wrote:
Spoiler: show
Forgath: Wow Bowst, that was too close.
Idle: looks like the monster left. But what about the little Badger you summoned?
Idle: Is the poor, little guy, dead?

Forgath: Naw, the Badger's fine. It was never really in our reality. What I summoned was sort of a reflection or shadow of a Badger from another realm.
Bowst: Nnn!

Forgath: It's like when you see your reflection in a lake. You're not In the lake, even though you can see yourself "in the lake". It's a whole 5th dimension sorta deal.
SFX: Shching

Bowst: What?!

SFX: Thwap

Bowst: "What about the Badger?!"

SFX: Thwap

Bowst: How 'but "What about Bowst?!"
Bowst: I almost d...

SFX: Thwap

Ward: Hey idiot, you're cursed to punch yourself every time you say "what". You might wanna think about now saying it.

Bowst: And you! How come you and Salt are swooping in to save Idle, but you won't save me?!

Ward: First of all, you weigh like, a scwillion pounds! Idle weighs like, one percent of a pound and me and Salt could barely drag her up!
Idle: I feel like you exaggerate way too much, Ward. you and I should have a talk.

Ward: Secondly, as your cursed item, I can't leave your side! I'd love it if you died, because I wouldn't have to look at you anymore! You're by far, the ugliest creature in this realm's history!


Idle: Seriously, Ward. Just a quick chat, whenever you have the time.

This board requires you to be registered and logged-in to view hidden content. wrote:
Spoiler: show
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o) (magic): Senor Vorpal Healass'o!
SFX: Bawumf

Complains of Names: Do you have to yell "Senor Vorpal Healass'o" every time you heal someone?
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): It makes it seem cooler.
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

Minmax: But Kickaxo, why can't you just tell me what that prophecy means? Is it bad? The way you reacted made it seem bad.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): I told you. Explaining a prophecy hurts. It's like looking directly at the sun.

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Wait, do Humans hurt their eyes if they look at the sun or is that just a Goblin thing?
Minmax: No, it hurts us too.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Okay, so even though you can't look at the sun, you can still know where it is, by looking at how the sunlight shines around you. The future is the sun. Prophecies are the sunlight all around us.
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

Forehead Fumbles: ..ter

Minmax: Dude! That was so wise!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): I know, right?! I totally sounded like a real teller!
Forehead Fumbles: ..nster

Thaco: Okay, so now that we have a teller, we can perform the chiefing ceremony, so the new chief can pray to the Goblin God and ask for help against the demon deity.

Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Yeah, then we save the realm and everyone is happy.
Forehead Fumbles: Monster

Group: Who hoo!
Group: Yay!
Group: We're going to save the realm!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): No no! That wasn't a prophecy! I was just being positive!
Bottomline: Please support Goblins: Animated! Link in the blog below!
Sketches : panel 1, panel 5 wrote:
Spoiler: show
Minmax: Oh.
Big Ears: So should we do the chiefing ceremony here, or keep moving?
Thaco: We still have to figure out who's going to be chief, so we should keep moving while we discuss it. Besides, with all these doors, this will be a great place to lose Kore. If he makes it this far, he won't know which way we went.

Minmax: I choose that door.
Complains of Names: Why?
Minmax: Why not?

Complains of Names: Gawh! I hate when someone thinks "Why not" is an answer. All you're doing is reversing the question, so I have to explain your reasoning! You picked the door, not me! The burden of explanation is on you! So why that door, Human?


Minmax: Because.

Minmax: It's okay Names, I'm not mad at you. Don't feel bad.
Complains of Names: What? Why would I feel bad?
Minmax: Didn't you just say that you feel bad or guilty or something?

Complains of Names: What are you talking about? The only thing I feel bad about, is that no one is ripping that big, ugly nose off your face.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Come on Maxo, let's go!

Minmax: Kickaxo, is it you then? Do you feel bad about something?
Fumbley (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Maxo, you're making no sense.
Minmax: Well somebody feels bad. I can feel it or sense it ir whatever.

SFX: Thump

SFX: Kwu-Foooom


Kin: Minmax?

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Spoiler: show

Kin: He chose that door.

SFX: Snif Snif

SFX: Creeeeeek
SFX: Fwum

Kin: Minmax?

Kin (thinking): Aw, crap.

Forehead Fumbles: ..nst..


Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): What is it? Something wrong?

Minmax: I don't know.

Minmax: I guess not.
Kins dragon is male, and named "Parchment" and made of paper (info from the Twitch live drawing); sketches: panel 4, last panel; image wrote:
Spoiler: show
Kin (thinking): Hmmm.

Kin (thinking): I saw something similar tot his when i was adventuring through the Maze of Many with Sapphire, Ruby and Onyx. If all of the shapes are the same colour, then the area is deadly. In this case, a fatal drop. But if at least one shape is a different colour, the area should be safe.

Kin (thinking): These shapes should absorb any colour that touches them.
SFX: Fwaok

Kin (thinking): There. Simple enough.
SFX: Kushuk Kushuk Kushuk

Kin (thinking): But I don't think Minmax went this way.

Kin: What do you think, Parchment? If there's no sign of him around the corner, we double back and try to find a different path?


Kin (thinking): Interesting. The floor is emitting a light fog around me. It seems to be based off of my individual magic effect. I wonder why.

Kin (thinking): But I've long since given up on trying to figure out why my I.M.E. has the letter E, K and N within it. Maybe someday I'll understand. The higher my level, the more pronounced my I.M.E. appears. Maybe after a few more levels in wizard, I'll understand what it means.
sketch panel 8, image wrote:
Spoiler: show


SFX: Fwaok

SFX: Fwaok Fwaok

SFX: Fwaok
Kin (thinking): The fog! It's touching the shapes and turning them green!

SFX: Fwaok Fwaok Fwaok Fwaok Fwaok Fwaok
Kin (thinking): It's turning all the shapes the same colour! The floor wil vanish below me!

Kin (thinking): Stupid, Kin! Stupid and careless!
SFX: Fwaok Fwaok

Kin (thinking): They're changing colour too fast! I'm not going to make it!
SFX: Fwaok Fwaok Fwaok Fwaok Fwaok

SFX: Fwaok Fwaok

SFX: Fwaok

Kin: Huff
Kin: Huff
Kin (thinking): Is that... someone else's I.M.E.?
Kin: Hello? Who's there?

SFX: Fwaok wrote:
Spoiler: show
Kore: ...kk...k...
SFX: Thump

Kore: ...k...
IME effect: N K N E K N E N . . .



Kore: Human female. ...kk... Are you native to this dungeon crawl? Are you in league with the monsters who dwell here?


Kin: Goodness, no. Monsters are evil. All of us Humans know that.

Kore: Not all of you. I'm currently hunting an evil Human who works with Goblins. ...k... He and his Goblin minions are hiding somewhere in this dungeon crawl. Have you seen any sign of him? Large, bald, one purple eye?

Kore: He goes by the name, Minmax.
Kin: Does he.

Kin: Well, he sounds simply terrifying. I shall try to avoid him, as I'm merely a low level wizard. Thank you for the kind warning, Dwarf hero.
IME effect: E K N

Kore: ...k... They are evil and cowardly. They abandoned their Dwarf companion to die by my hand. Usind his death as an opportunity to escape. So if you do find yourself in combat with the Human, his "friends" won't help him. There are none who would protect a creature like Minmax.

Kore: You look upset. Do my words... bother you?
Kin: No.
Kin: It's good that you were able to kill that evil Dwarf.

Kore: ...kk... ...k... Strange. Tell me, why are you in this dungeon crawl alone? You said yourself, that you're only a low level adventurer.

Kin: The rest of my party, two Elves and a Gnome, were killed in battle, a few rooms back. Only I survived, unfortunately.

Kore: Is that so. ...k... What manner of monsters...
Kin: Giant spiders with claws made of fire and broken glass as a breath weapon.
IME effect: K E K N E N . . .

Kore: I've never hear of...
Kin: No, you wouldn't have. It was a magical trap what combined all of our worst nightmares, creating the creatures. Are you a paladin?

Kore: What? ...kk... That ...k... is none of your...
Kin: Because if you are, then surely you cast 'Detect Evil' on that Dwarf before you killed him. Is that what you did?

Kin: How evil was that Dwarf? He must've been very evil, otherwise it's just murder. Making you a murderer who killed a good Dwarf.

Kore: ...kk... Did you know this Dwarf?
Kin: Of course not. I just find the virtues of paladinhood fascinating.
IME effect: K E N K E N . . .
sketches of panel 1, panels 3/4, panel 14 wrote:
Spoiler: show
Kin: Well, goodbye now. I wish you luck in your hunt for Minmax.
Kore: Indeed.
IME effect: K E K N E N . . .

Kin (thinking): Whew

Kore: You didn't ask to join. ...k...
Kin: I'm sorry?

Kore: When adventurers encounter each other, it's common practice for them to join up. I would have ...kk... declined, as I work alone, ...k... but I find it odd that you didn't suggest it. ...k...

Kin: As the lower leveled adventurer, I didn't think it was my place.
Kore: Is that so.
IME effect: K E K N E N . . .

Kore: Well then. Let us shake hands and part ways peacefully.
Kore: ...kk...
Kin: You... want to shake hands?
IME effect: K E K N E N . . .

Kore: It is a Human custom, isn't it? You should have no problem with shaking my hand...
Kore: ...Human.
Note: Parchment is hidden in panel 1, flat on the wall. Sketches of panel 5 and again panel 5; panel 7 and again panel 7, wrote:
Spoiler: show
Kin: Of course.
IME effect: K E N K E N . . .

Kore: Well? Why do you hesitate?
IME effect: K E N K E N . . .

Kin: Look out behind you! Monster!
IME effect: K E K N E N . . .

SFX: Shinng
IME effect: K E K N E N . . .

SFX: Clank Clank Clank
IME effect: K E N K E N . . .

IME effect: N N K


Kin (magic): Lightning bolt!
SFX: Bzzzwap
IME effect: K E N K E N . . .
sketch panel 1 ... 9785918466
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